Holocaust survivors are human like the rest of us

TALI FEINBERG

The South African Holocaust & Genocide Foundation and the Gilah branch of Bnoth Zion WIZO (Cape Town), recently screened the film “Tzipora’s Nest”, which delves into these issues.

“I was scared to show the film because I was worried that people would hate me,” says Malka Nedivi, who made the documentary about her mother, Tzipora. She came to South Africa for the screenings and had a public conversation with media personality Lisa Chait at the WIZO event.

Nedivi explained that she was the only child of Holocaust survivors who moved to Israel after the Second World War, and that she had a fraught relationship with her mother growing up. “The screams would be to the sky,” a neighbour says, interviewed in the film.

Nedivi eventually “escaped” this claustrophobic environment by immigrating to Los Angeles with her Israeli husband, where they raised their three children. She still received, angry, emotional, loving and hurtful letters from her mother, but 17 years passed before Nedivi picked up the phone and heard her mother say: “I am picking the mould off the bread. But don’t worry! I am fine. How are the kids?”

Nedivi’s husband, Udi, told her she had no choice but to go help her mother, so she eventually moved back to Israel with her two young daughters, while her husband and son remained in the United States.

An artist by profession, Nedivi is not a natural filmmaker, but with an amateur camera in hand, she began to film life in Israel with her mother. Initially, this was simply to record this period and to perhaps interview her mother, but eventually Nedivi knew that this was a story too important not to share, and she decided to make it into a documentary.

The result is a raw, uncensored look at the fraught relationship many children have with their parents, with the added complications of Holocaust survival across the generations.

Tzipora is a hoarder, and the camera presents us with an unflinching look at piles of plastic, rotting food, boxes piled high, rags, clothes and paraphernalia in every room. “If something enters the house, it does not leave,” explains Nedivi in the film.

We see her battle to slowly infiltrate the clutter and her mother’s defences, and the difficult moments between mother and daughter are laid bare.

Nedivi knows the film shows the truth – “that I am not the perfect daughter” – but as an artist, she hopes people will react to these challenging scenes and perhaps identify themselves in the film. “If you open up, people open themselves up back,” she explains in conversation with Chait.

In the film we see how Nedivi battles to find caregivers for her mother; we hear social workers say: “There is nothing more we can do for your mother”; “We want to pass this case on to another agency”, and: “It smells like a dead rat in there.”

This is in Israel, a society which should be treasuring its Holocaust survivors, yet the film shows a harrowing picture. Eventually, a wonderful caregiver is found, and she helps Nedivi gently tackle her mother’s hoarding habits.

The film is not only doom and gloom, and light-hearted moments make the audience feel like part of this warm, complicated family and the chaos of Israeli society. The viewers are given glimpses into the many aspects of Tzipora’s personality, which has been hardened by her tough life experiences.

The documentary is also fascinating for anyone interested in cinema, as the form of production is known as “guerrilla filmmaking” – sometimes “undercover” and with the camera being held by anyone who can control it – sometimes Nedivi’s daughters, or strangers in the street.

The camera is a constant presence and sometimes acts as a buffer or shield between mother and daughter; Nedivi can cower behind it, or attack her mother with it. It is an untraditional, uncomfortable approach to filming, matching its subject matter.

This is a film that should be seen by Jewish communities around the world, as it gives deep insight into the lives of Holocaust survivors and their children. At the beginning of the film, Nedivi says that looking after her mother is “taking a journey into the night”, but on reflection at the Cape Town event, she says: “I am grateful my life took this turn. It allowed me to be with my mother until her very last moments and to make peace with her.

“It has taken me 65 years to admit that I am very much like my mother, and proud of it! And I am thankful that I had the chance to fall in love with my mother again.”

See more at http://tziporasnest.com