What the Shpiel tells us about King David

Proud KD parent

Howard, the consensus among your many young Instagram followers is that you are a man of depth and wisdom beyond your youthful half a century plus. We must read the underlying message that reveals itself once we sanitise the surface (with no less than 70% alcohol GF). So we did just that …

And we take the compliment. What you were basically saying is:

We are revolutionary – this we are. We pride ourselves in being a top IEB (Independent Examinations Board) school offering diverse and cutting-edge education.

We prioritise our students.

We attempt to raise mentshen (people with integrity), but we can’t be responsible for what happens once our alumni enter the big bad world.

We are a school that teaches chesed (compassion), and love for our fellow man.

We strive only for the best for our learners.

We do, however, reserve our right to say that although vaping may be legal in over 18s and marijuana has now been decriminalised in that age group and over, we have imposed a campus-wide ban on engaging in risky, illegal, or health-altering behaviour. The only substance we will allow on campus is alcohol – although only in 70% form, and exclusively for sanitation.

At this point, we are working with relevant health officials on managing a more pressing issue than the lounge closure. Thankfully, due to our phenomenal leadership, we are working on a Covid-19 management plan.

In order to assist our pupils with the possible closure of said business class lounge, we have offered both your residence and Gidon Novick’s hotels as suggested venues should any Covid quarantine staycations be required.

Belated happy Purim

Yours in sanitisation