Sunday of my discontent

HOWARD FELDMAN

I woke up early as I always do, went for a walk, caught up on some work, and then prepared for the Sunday Podcast. It went well, and I was happy with the content. After recording it, I spent some time with my marketing team getting everything ready for distribution.

I sent out the podcast, and then I crashed.

For most of the afternoon, I lay on my bed and watched a completely unmemorable series on Netflix. I felt overwhelmed with exhaustion, and wondered if I was getting sick. As a result, I started to stress about COVID-19, and found myself a little short of breath (I’m a self-confessed, terrible hypochondriac).

It didn’t get much better for most of the day, after which I put myself to sleep so as not to annoy myself or anyone around me.

I wasn’t fun to be around, least of all for myself.

I had no reason to hit the slump that I did. But with everything that’s going on around us, I guess I had every reason to. And this is why I am devoting this column to this subject. We know we are blessed. We are part of a magnificent community in a magnificent country. We care for each other, we assist each other, and we have purpose.

Most days I’m able to rationalise this. But every now and then, the loss, the change, the worry, and anxiety becomes overwhelming. Every now and then, the ball that we are struggling to hold under the water gets away from us, and bursts above the surface. That’s when we need to take the time to contain it.

Sunday was that day for me.

I woke up at 04:00 on Monday feeling great. Maybe because I was excited about the possibility of the week ahead. Maybe because in my sleep I counted my blessings, recognised how fortunate I was, or maybe it was simply that I had given myself the time to feel the impact of COVID-19 on the world and on me.

The past 100 days have changed our world, and it’s not easy for any of us. As important as it is to recognise and to count our blessings, it’s equally important, every Sunday afternoon now and then, to feel the weight, the loss, and worry of it all.

And whereas I have no doubt that we all have those Sundays from time to time, we also need to be aware that if Sunday becomes Monday and Tuesday as well, then it’s time to seek help.