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Student barred from gap year speaks out
Demi Putziger, a King David Victory Park (KDVP) matriculant in 2020, was looking forward to her gap-year programme this year and was devastated when, at the last minute, she was told she wasn’t welcome because her mother isn’t Jewish.
This was in spite of paying a hefty deposit three months earlier and an intense campaign by programme organisers for her to join it.
Not only was Putziger, 18, left disheartened and infuriated, but her two closest friends have decided not to attend the programme in light of what happened to her.
Putziger asked that we not name the programme and its organisers because she doesn’t want them to be victimised. Rather, she just wants to highlight the way she was treated and to create awareness.
“It was a huge shock. Who would have seen this coming?” she says. “I wish they had told me from the start. I’m most upset that they led me on, and that I haven’t been able to apply to universities or mentally prepare myself for this sudden change.”
She says that since finding out about it, she hasn’t been able to bring herself to light Shabbos candles, or say Friday night brochas. “I’m nauseated and disappointed to see the community and those in authority turn their back on me like this,” she says.
Her father, a regular donor to the community, is furious at the way his daughter has been treated, and has decided to withdraw financial contributions to the community.
Before committing to the programme, Putziger planned to study abroad, and would have left in February 2021 had she not made the commitment to go on the gap year. Now, she has to wait until August 2021 to go, and is at home, unemployed and struggling to find a job to occupy her time before she leaves. She applied to work at a local community organisation, but was told it wouldn’t accept her because she is leaving South Africa in six months’ time.
The gap-year programme’s organisers have since paid back her deposit. “It’s not about the money, it’s about moral consensus. They should have been more specific about their religious requirements before the deposit was paid. When you pay for something, you expect something in return, especially if it’s in the thousands and a decision for a whole year.”
Going back to the beginning of her Jewish journey, she says she attended a non-Jewish private school for most of her school career as it had a good reputation and was nearby. But then she was selected to go to the Maccabi Games in 2017, and “it changed my life”.
After much thought, “I told my parents I wanted to move to KDVP,” Putziger says. “We met [KDVP headmaster] Mr [Andrew] Baker, and he was so welcoming. It was the best decision I could have made. It couldn’t have been a more warm and accepting environment.”
From that moment, she was welcomed by peers, teachers, and on any programme she wanted to attend. “In Grade 10 [2018], I went on Hadracha and Bnei Akiva camp, and in Grade 11 [2019] I went on the March of the Living and Habonim Dror camp. I wanted to try everything, and every programme had no problem with allowing me to join.
“In January 2020, I went overseas with my parents to look at different universities, and decided that this was where I wanted to go after I matriculated. But then, the programme organiser came to school and promoted the gap year,” she said.
“He said they would be more than happy to have me join the programme. My friend and I made the decision to go, and he urged us to pay our deposit as soon as possible. I did so in October 2020. One of my other friends said she would join us, and the three of us made a pact that we would be each other’s support systems. Then in December 2020, the organiser phoned me out of nowhere to say they couldn’t let me join the programme because my mother isn’t Jewish.”
The incident raises the question of how pupils in the Jewish school system whose mothers aren’t Jewish can be excluded from programmes at the whim of organisers and authorities.
“I’m speaking out because King David has taught me to have a voice. I need to speak up and tell the truth. If this is the way people are treated in our tiny community, then people will leave, and the community will diminish,” says Putziger.
One of her friends, who asked to remain anonymous, says she chose not to go on the programme after what happened to Putziger, and hasn’t been paid back her deposit. “We planned the whole of last year what we were going to do when we were in Israel together. It was our little ‘light’ after all the uncertain times,” she says. “It was just so exciting, and then suddenly the excitement was ripped away. I was upset and felt disgusted with the programme. I don’t want to be associated with the people who turned her away.”
In response to questions from the SA Jewish Report, one of the gap-year programme’s organisers said, “We are deeply regretful about the hurt and disappointment for Demi and her family. The pain that arose out of these circumstances is something for which we apologise unreservedly.
“The ordering in which Demi’s application was conducted was unusual, and seems possibly at the root of the problems that ensued. It’s an area which we will ensure is much more tightly managed.
“Our first formal interaction with Demi regarding the gap-year programme was in mid-October 2020, when she paid an initial registration fee. She was then invited to an interview. She received a WhatsApp on 13 October 2020 confirming her acceptance, and the next step was to fill out certain forms.
“Demi’s case has shown us that the wording of this message may be problematic in not fully explaining that the ensuing application form would be the final determining factor. However, it’s something which we believed was implicit. Nevertheless, the message’s wording will be changed in the future.
“The application form for our gap year does ask outright for information about the Jewish background of parents and family. These criteria are completely transparent, and have been consistent throughout our existence.
“Demi elected to send in the form with full information on 8 December 2020, which is late into the process. We can respond only to information of which we are aware, and once the form was submitted, we responded within 24 hours. We see the potential problem in our administrative processes. We will be proactive in rectifying this. It remains a great pity that events transpired as they did for Demi. We have tried to resolve the matter as sensitively as possible.”
carol brown
March 11, 2021 at 10:59 am
DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR BY THE DECISION NOT TO ALLOW HER TO GO. DECISIONS LIKE THIS CONTRIBUTE TO ANTI SEMITISM.
AS SAID- WHO THE HELL ARE THESE BOARD MEMBERS THAT MADE THE DECISION. LET THEM HAVE THE COURAGE OF THEIR CONVICTIONS AND SHOW THEIR FACES AND PUT THEIR NAMES BEHIND THEM NOT HIDE LIKE COWARDS
Barbara Levin
March 11, 2021 at 3:19 pm
How shameful and disgusting that Demi has been so rebuffed. We have lost so many Jews over the decades and previously. Here is a young girl who is trying to establish a Jewish identity even though she will need to convert obviously. She is already being denied her opportunity to begin the process. Apparently, she loves Israel and we need to encourage such young people to join us not reject them!
Mark Friedman
March 11, 2021 at 5:32 pm
With regard to the organisers of the Gap Year, I would be most interested to hear what their reasoning is.
It would be good for the community to hear what their stance is and why.
If a child attends KD excells and embraces the system I see no reason why she should be excluded at this level.
Amy
March 12, 2021 at 9:57 pm
THIS IS DIS…..GUST! ….ING!!!!. I hope they sue whoever was responsible for making that discision. Really nice way to get the youth to honour their Judaism. I do not blame her. She is owed a huge apology…and her father donated to the community?! Sis!
Amy
March 12, 2021 at 10:07 pm
Oh and another thing, the organizers have the nerve to justify themselves when a rule like that is blasphemous! She had a Jewish Schooling, she recognized herself as Jewish and… AND her father donated to the community. Not cool.
Gary Goldberg
March 13, 2021 at 9:12 am
What an absolute disgrace. Who are these holier than thou “judges” of others. They’ll accept her father’s money but not his daughter!! Goid for her 2 friends who opted out. Kol Hakavod. Boycott these institutions. This young lady went thru KDVP ….the community and their judgemental nonsense needs to wake up. I’m enraged
Paul Mirbach
March 13, 2021 at 11:11 am
The gap year organizers’S apology is a cowardly non-apology, avoiding addressing the issue of discrimination against children of mixed marriages, and preferring to lean on technicalities.
If this is the character of the organizers, one can just imagine the nature of the gap year program.
Just a remonder: ואהבת לגר בתוכנו, כי גרים היינו במצרים.
shoshie
March 13, 2021 at 3:06 pm
Habonim Dror is a Labor Zionist organization (secular) unlike King David which is a religious school, I enrolled my son in KD in 1977, then changed my mind and we returned to Israel. If you are a child of an interfaith couple and you want to study in a Jewish “religious” institution, your parents should have checked out their policy/policies on “who is a Jew before you were enrolled. If mother is Jewish by birth or by conversion the child is Jewish. (Full stop) Does not matter what denomination you are. Your Mum and dad should have figured that one out 18 years ago. Thats the law. Donations/Endowments don’t count. Just saying….
Rafi
March 15, 2021 at 4:59 am
Heartless and unsympathetic!
This is the result of a bureaucratic system unable to adapt.
Carry on like this and young people will become alienated particularly those who come from different backgrounds and who espouse different views
Sue Jackson
March 16, 2021 at 3:54 pm
Demi , I am so sorry for the hurt you have experienced at not being able to go on your Gap Program to Israel. As a convert to Judaism i am very sensitive to how this must have affected you. I was made aware from the beginning that my children would not be allowed to take part in certain activities unless they were Jewish – therefore there were no expectations .
You were obviously very committed to being a Jewess , lighting Candles , saying Brochas, going on March of the Living & so much more. Please see this as a painful chapter in your journey into Judaism , but instead of turning your back on something that has become so meaningful, use it to share these lessons in a way that can help others make positive changes in their lives . You can choose how to respond to what life is asking of you now.
I wish you success in all your future endeavours. May you move forward with blessings.
E Mann
March 17, 2021 at 6:10 am
Jewish identity is determined matrilinearly, in both Jewish Hamachi and history. The period after Pesach leads to and culminates in the history of Shavuous, during which we read and celebrate Megilla Ruth, the quintessential female convert to Judaism and great grandmother of King David. If Demi wishes to convert to Judaism I am sure she would be welcomed, and could study in South Africa in any number of programs free of charge by Aish Hatorah or similar organizations. She need only inquire of the Orthodox rabbinate in Capetown of Johannesburg who would direct her happily and appropriately.
Stephen Miller
April 12, 2021 at 6:22 pm
In Israel the department dealing with visitors entering is controlled by Haridim who are in turn are governed by the Likud Party in terms of the coalition agreement with them.The Likud Party is controlled by Bibi Natinyahu who does want to be judged by the courts for bribery.
Dana
April 13, 2021 at 10:01 am
Name and Shane the gap year you were meant to go on. They should be boycotted for this disgusting behaviour. The community needs to know the name of the programme so that there will be a consequence for them. Don’t let them get a away with this. Absolutely disgusting. Sis!!!