Lifestyle
Artworks provide fertile ground for gift of life
For as long as artist Hayley Gecelter can remember, she always wanted to be a mother, but the seemingly impossible road to get there wasn’t something she envisaged as a young woman when she and her husband started trying for a child.
After what can only be described as a torturous, emotionally fraught fertility journey filled with indescribable loss, pain, and anguish, the couple finally realised their dream.
But it took them down a path of loneliness and isolation and several failed in-vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments and numerous gamete intrafallopian transfer (Gift) attempts to get there. Add to this the devastating loss of triplets at 23 weeks, and insurmountable disappointments following multiple miscarriages.
This week, the couple experienced pure joy as they celebrated their youngest daughter’s Batmitzvah, rejoicing in her coming of age as a woman.
There was a stage when doctors told Gecelter the prospect of having biological children was bleak. She suffered from numerous gynaecological issues including polycystic ovaries, endometriosis, and early ovarian ageing. Her eggs were of poor quality, her cervix was problematic – biologically, things were more than challenging.
But this didn’t deter the couple from trying everything possible.
“It wasn’t easy,” she said. There were times when Gecelter felt that her world was falling apart. The couple put their lives on hold and made enormous financial sacrifices.
“I was unplayable,” she told the SA Jewish Report. “It was a very lonely journey as many of my friends were starting their families and I was struggling. It was difficult to attend births, brit milah, and birthday parties,” she said.
When she finally fell pregnant with triplets after fertility treatment, the couple was ecstatic. Their joy was short lived, however, when her membranes ruptured at 21 weeks. After a few weeks in hospital, further complications set in, and she was forced to terminate and deliver by caesarean section after she developed a life threatening infection.
“We were broken,” she said.
Their long path to parenthood took them on a spiritual journey in which they twice visited Israel to pray at the Kotel and at the grave of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai on Lag B’Omer.
Finally, their dream came true and their first daughter, Raquel, 14, was born after a difficult pregnancy. Their second daughter, Natania, 12, miraculously followed, again after a torturous fertility battle. She was born at 28 weeks after her twin died in utero.
To this day, Gecelter is overwhelmed by the emotional support she received from Suzanne Sackstein, one of the founders of the Malka Ella Fertility Fund, and fertility specialist Dr Lawrence Gobetz of Vitalab, who both went beyond the call of duty to make sure that the couple made it through years of trying.
Sadly, Gecelter and her husband are one of many couples in the community who have struggled to become parents. Many battle to meet the crippling financial demands of fertility treatments, while others like the Gecelters rely on the organisation for emotional support.
The Malka Ella Fertility Fund was started 20 years ago to provide Jewish couples with financial assistance and emotional support. To date, the fund has financed and supported numerous fertility and adoption procedures, which have resulted in more than 240 babies being born or adopted.
This week, Gecelter’s artwork forms part of an online art exhibition and auction to raise money for the fund. “Painting and art was my life saving distraction during those hard years,” she said.
One of the organisers of the auction, Kate Gershuni, said 60 Jewish female artists had generously donated their work for the auction.
“Some of these artists have achieved professional acclaim in their artistic careers, while many are newer to the art world and not yet as well recognised. There are a few who have been recipients of the Malka Ella Fund.”
Fellow auction organiser and exhibiting artist, Nicole Hoffmann said she became involved with Malka Ella about 20 years ago on the creative-development side.
“Ironically, my work for the fund became that much more meaningful when I experienced my own heart breaking fertility problems when I couldn’t fall pregnant with my second child,” said the graphic designer and businesswoman.
She experienced a strange case of secondary infertility and went through a number of IVF treatments, experiencing a number of painful miscarriages.
“It was a very sad, lonely time. In the beginning, you think it will be ok, but after a few miscarriages, you spend a lot of emotional energy hoping and praying every month and then facing the utter disappointment every 30 odd days. It’s not a fight you’re prepared to give up on, but it’s extremely emotionally demanding.”
Said Sackstein, “We wanted to do something that celebrates women, and this exhibition has become a huge expression of talent by some of our South African Jewish women artists.”
Malka Ella isn’t just about funding treatments, Sackstein said, the organisation stretches to many areas involving the parenthood journey, including anything from infertility counselling, halachic supervision, genetic medical counselling, pregnancy loss support, and providing hope to singles and couples.
The exhibition is aptly titled “Creation”. Visit www.malkaella.co.za/auction to view the artworks. Bidding closes at midnight on Tuesday, 30 November.