Let go of the grumpiness and get real

We have a lot to be grumpy about, but if you think a little further than that superficial grumpiness, we have so much to be grateful for. More than that, we have reason to feel uplifted in a somewhat unpleasant environment.

I may not be making sense on first read, but I went into a panel discussion last Saturday night at Limmud to discuss the psyche of our community wondering why anyone would want to come and listen when there were so many inspiring talks at the same time.

Interestingly, those people who were there – and there was a full room – claim to have left feeling uplifted and inspired.

They all came to hear what SA Jewish Board of Deputies Chairperson Karen Milner, South African Zionist Federation Public Policy Director Benji Shulman, and psychologist David Abrahamson had to say about the state of our psyche. I merely facilitated the discussion. I didn’t think people would flock to hear it as it had the potential to be depressing.

We dealt with antisemitism and anti-Zionism, the African National Congress (ANC) and government’s unfortunate blind spot and abhorrence towards anything to do with Israel. It sounds like a real downer, right?

Well, apparently, it had the opposite effect. We spoke about the reality that we don’t experience antisemitism day to day in South Africa. We’re able to live a proudly Jewish life and have absolutely no stress about it. Yes, the ANC uses Israel and Zionism as a political football, but it’s apparent that its days ruling the country are numbered and, when it leaves, it will take its affiliation with BDS and sentiments with it.

It’s true that we walk around with post-pandemic trauma because of the impact of lockdown and the death of so many, but we’re not alone in this. We’re just one of the many communities in the world carrying this pain into the future.

Having said that, we’ve passed the worst. The pandemic as we knew it is behind us. We have a new lease on life, and being able to spend time together with others in our community at Johannesburg Limmud was such a treat. We just need to acknowledge just how wonderful that was. We needed to be cognisant of just how lucky we are that we are able to get together with others within our community and enjoy what we have.

There were mutterings of not having a way of meeting people in the community – particularly those who are single and looking for a life partner. That’s real, but can I say, let this be our biggest problem.

Yes, times are tough and money is tight. We don’t have the kind of wealth we used to have within our community, but we’re surviving. Whatever isn’t at our beck and call in the country, our community has made a plan to ensure is available.

We have a national ambulance service that isn’t so great. Behold, now there’s Hatzolah. We don’t have a social welfare system that enables those battling to survive. Behold, we have the Chev and a few other organisations that help those within our community in need. During lockdown, people around the country didn’t have access to oxygen, well, Hatzolah made a plan. When companies were about to collapse because of the threat of the pandemic, an organisation emerged that made sure that they would survive. That’s this community.

The take-home quote from the panel was from Milner, who cited Avrom Krengel in saying that while Israel may be the “Start-Up Nation”, South Africa is the “DIY Nation”. And so we are. If we really need something and it isn’t readily available, we make a plan to create it for ourselves.

As a community, we don’t lack for anything because if we do, we create a plan to change that.

So, if you really think about the state of our psyche and our situation as a community and as individuals in South Africa, it’s a happy story.

Having said that, we unwittingly find ourselves persuaded otherwise far too often. Think about it, all you have to see on Facebook is someone selling all their household goods to emigrate to make you think you must be mad to stay. But are they really all going?

The truth is, most of us are staying and the grass really isn’t greener elsewhere.

Let’s compare our time during lockdown to most ex-South Africans in London, New York, or even Tel Aviv. We couldn’t buy alcohol or cigarettes. Oh, woe is me! However, we could enjoy the sunshine in our beautiful gardens while most expats spent their time holed up in flats with their entire families.

Consider those you love who have left South Africa for other countries. Are their lives really better than ours? Have they really found their nirvana? How many friends do you know who battle trying to hold down jobs, keep their homes clean and running, all while managing their family’s lives? How many do you know who long for the close-knit Jewish community that we have here? How many don’t necessarily say it out aloud, but wish they could reconsider their emigration?

Yes, I know, we do a fair bit of complaining, and I, too, am guilty of this. I so often get mad at the ANC and government for being blind to the truth about Israel and the Palestinian issue. I get upset with our government about corruption and not doing enough to safeguard our economy.

I can find a great deal to be angry and complain about. I also find my month is way too long for my money.

However, I, too, felt uplifted when our panel discussion was over because I wouldn’t give up what we have in this country for the world. Just being able to reconnect with people I haven’t seen for years and enjoying Shabbos with people who have the same background as me is a gift I wouldn’t be able to get elsewhere.

So, let’s be honest about our situation here, and acknowledge that we have our problems, but boy, we have a phenomenal existence!

Shabbat Shalom!

Peta Krost

Editor