Children ignite the beauty of Chanukah

There’s nothing like the dose of excitement that children add to Jewish holidays. This is particularly true of Chanukah, where children often ignite – or reignite – their parents’ love of the festival.

In the manic year-end rush and subsequent holiday exodus, celebrating Chanukah often falls by the wayside. Even if we loved the festival of lights as children, those days are often long forgotten until our own children come along.

“When you see the festival through your children’s eyes where everything is so exciting and wonderful, you start to appreciate it more,” says Melanie Ger, who has a nine-year-old son and a seven-year-old daughter. “It brings an energy and a light, literally and figuratively.”

Ger believes the traditions around Chanukah are beautiful, but she says it’s her children who ensure that she and her husband celebrate.

“We wouldn’t do it if it weren’t for them. They both come home from school with their menorahs and candles, which makes it easy to fulfil the mitzvah. They’re responsible for telling us what to do, which is awesome because it empowers them. The kids light their own menorahs and then we light a big family one that came from my great great-grandparents from Lithuania, connecting us to our heritage.”

Ger is happy that her children are at Sandton Sinai, where they’ve learned about the meaning behind the chaggim. “Our kids are enthralled by Chanukah, and they share its history with us as well as with their grannies and Zaidas, so it spreads across the generations.” It goes even further, she says, as they share their pictures and Chanukah activities with family around the world, creating connections that were particularly powerful during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Chanukah is a joyous holiday that celebrates miracles, so it’s the perfect opportunity to reflect and connect with your loved ones,” says Kirsten Katzen. Her six-year-old son Jamie has also inspired new Chanukah traditions through what he has learned at school.

“He goes to a Jewish pre-primary school where they strengthen their pupils’ Jewish identity by teaching Hebrew, Jewish heritage, chaggim, and Torah values,” she says. “We bring the traditions that he learns into our home, and they enrich our lives, connecting us to our community and in turn strengthening our Jewish identity.

“Every year, Jamie creates a magical menorah with colours and glitter, and there’s real excitement about lighting the candles every night,” she says. “The dreidel spinning game is also a highlight.” The Katzens add their own rituals to the holiday. “This year, we’ll be starting a new tradition of sharing eight reasons why we love each other to learn the value of kindness and spreading love.”

In some cases, the parents of children who don’t attend Jewish schools make a bigger effort to instil love of the religion, which reignites their connection to its rich traditions. This is the case for Stacey Urdang.

“Our four-year-old son Jayden attends Crawford, where I work as a teacher, and it’s important that we expose him to Jewish traditions and make him aware and proud of his Yiddishkeit,” Urdang says.

Also parents to 15-month-old Asher, the Urdangs want to establish Jewish identities for their boys. “We know that learning comes from the home, so we try hard to teach them about their heritage and to expose them to Jewish holidays, also celebrating with extended family. Chanukah is a firm favourite with Jayden.”

Urdang says she loved the festival growing up in Cape Town, where she and her family would attend the menorah lighting at Milnerton Shul. “We used to sing and dance as a community every year, and it was always something special,” she recalls. Though she and her husband used to celebrate Chanukah when they first married, they later “dropped the ball completely”.

“It was only once Jayden was born that we reintroduced candle lighting,” she says. “His granny bought him a menorah when he was a toddler, and we have continued with this family tradition for the past three years. Jayden absolutely adores lighting the menorah, playing with the dreidel, and eating doughnuts. We’re hopeful that he will ignite a similar love in his baby brother.”

Lee Herridge, mother to two daughters aged eight and 10, also feels a need to educate her children about their Jewish heritage, not only because they attend secular schools, but because they are being raised in a mixed-faith family.

Though they celebrate major holidays like Pesach and Rosh Hashanah, Chanukah has always been usurped by Christmas. “It’s hard to say to your kids there’s this thing called Chanukah when all they’re seeing is Christmas trees and Santa and presents,” she says. “It’s a marketing juggernaut.”

“The other challenge is that every December we’ve stayed at the coast where my husband’s family live. For them, it’s Christmas, the tree, and a mountain of presents, so we’ve never celebrated Chanukah.” Though she embraces Christmas, Herridge is excited that the fact that her family is staying at home in Joburg this year means that they can create their own traditions and celebrate Chanukah too.

“I grew up in Israel on a kibbutz where Chanukah was a big deal,” she says. “There were bonfires outside, and we’d do something called cotevet aish where you turn hessian sack and wire into letters and shapes creating a word or image that burns when the fires are lit. Years later, when we’d moved to South Africa, I did something similar at Habonim machaneh, where we’d use hessian to create a giant menorah, which was really fun.”

Though she can’t replicate such large-scale celebrations, Herridge has bought a menorah and candles and plans to make latkes and remind her kids of the story of Chanukah. “They remember it a little as they went to a Jewish nursery school, but it’s not something we’ve ever celebrated at home.

“I’m hoping that by involving them in the candle lighting process, they’ll get into it,” she says. “Christmas is such an exciting thing for kids to celebrate, so I’m not trying to compete with that. I just want them to feel like there’s more to Jewish holidays than Pesach and Rosh Hashanah – other festivals that we can start celebrating too. Chanukah is such a great holiday for kids.”

And, evidently, for adults too.