Joining the call for a ceasefire

It might have taken me some time, but I’ve made the decision to support the call for a ceasefire. As a Jew, I cannot ignore the fact that my grandparents were Holocaust survivors, that we understand what suffering is, and that each day results in the unnecessary deaths of so many innocent civilians. Civilians whose greatest crime is to live where they do, and civilians who haven’t asked to be caught up in the choices of their government.

I’m joining the call for a ceasefire in South Africa now because South Africans deserve better than to live and die in a country where 80 people are murdered each day. They deserve better than to have little access to healthcare, flushing toilets, electricity, and employment. They deserve better than to have a government that they cannot trust with their milk money, and a government that behaves as if it’s the spokesperson of the Iranian regime.

I call for a ceasefire in South Africa now.

To talk of a two-state solution is premature. And naïve. Where the Cape Independence Party might imagine a scenario where Capetonians and those from Gauteng might live side by side in perfect harmony, those who understand history, economics, and political ambition know that this isn’t possible. They know that try as they might, “Joburgers” will never dress as well, will never speak in lilting faintly British accents, and will always pronounce the word “pizza” differently. Just as those from the City of Gold are aware that they will never be as wealthy as those from the Cape, but will never look as poor as those with homes in Bantry Bay choose to look.

I might even consider adorning my X profile with useful and meaningful slogans that reflect my recent depth and magnificent humanity. In this vein, I’ll be printing t-shirts emblazoned with “From the (Orange) River to the (Atlantic) Sea”, while denying that this reflects a desire to ethnically cleanse anyone from Brakpan, Springs, or Benoni. Even maybe Germiston.

So passionate am I about my newfound caring nature, I’m prepared to have a tent pitched on the Fairmount Field, being close to all the decent kosher places and Woolworths Food, and not far at all from Urban Grind should I need a coffee fix. I recognise the immense and moving sacrifice, but in my darkest hours (loadshedding), I’ll be inspired by Nelson Mandela’s iconic words, “We know too well that our freedom is incomplete without the freedom of the Kaapies.” Or something like that.

Where I will be unlikely to become successfully vegan for the cause, I would consider inviting the JVP (Jewish Voices for Pizza) to a multicultural prayer service. We’ll print our very own booklet, otherwise known as a menu, and we’ll take turns in reading in sincere whispers. We’ll begin with dessert and move backwards to starters, because it’s indeed a world that’s upside down. Or back to front. Or something.

I will, of course, live tweet the event.

As someone who has been told that he stands on the wrong side of history, I finally understand what it means to be part of something so magnificent. And so, I humbly appeal to you to join my Ceasefire in SA cause right now. That said, please understand that should you choose not to, I’ll consider you to be an apartheid loving, genocide supporting murderer. And I’ll tell everyone.

Peace and love.