From sorrow to comfort

We now live in the post 7 October era. Every Jew has been forced to take a sincere look at their Jewish identity. The brutality of the attack and the double standard of the world is something most Jews hadn’t experienced in their lifetime.

We have just been through Tisha B’Av, the day we feel the pain of the destruction of the holy Temples and the exile of G-d’s presence. A world without G-d is a world of darkness, suffering and confusion. As we see in the world today.

This Shabbos is called “Shabbos Nachamu”. We read from the prophet Isiah (Chapter 40). Isiah opens with the words, “Comfort, comfort my people, says your G-d.”

How do we successfully follow this pathway and transition from sadness and pain to comfort and hope?

When one experiences loss and mourning, initial shock and trauma set in. The pain is overwhelming as one’s world is turned upside down. It’s important to go with these powerful emotions and face the pain. This is the function of shiva. On Tisha B’Av, we all sit shiva.

One then needs to move forward towards the pathway of comfort. Healing has no timeline. Each person finds their way. How does one make this shift from darkness to light?

My dear friend Rabbi Doron Perez shared his painful journey of these past months with his colleagues at this year’s rabbinic conference arranged by Chief Rabbi Dr Warren Goldstein.

The indescribable pain the Perez family has gone through is something we cannot pimagine. The kidnapping of their son Daniel by Hamas terrorists, only to find out later that he was killed in battle, saving many lives. The injury to their son Yonatan days before his wedding, also fighting bravely on 7 October saving lives.

Rabbi Perez described his initial reaction upon hearing the news. He said he was paralysed by  shock and grief. After a few days, he heard a clip from Rabbi Shlomo Weitzen from Shomron, whose son was also killed in battle against Hamas terrorists.

Rabbi Weitzen said, “Though our son Amichai left us at the age of 33, on the last day of his life he received as a gift many, many more years of life. He saved all the families of the village of Kerem Shalom. One cannot know how many years of life he saved. All of these years and all the years of all their descendants, and all descendants of their descendants!”

Rabbi Perez said these words moved him deeply, and enabled him to shift his mindset. For the first time, he was able to focus on the lives Daniel saved and the miracles that occurred for Yonatan to be alive. He was now able to be “next to the darkness, not in the darkness”.

Rabbi Perez points out that the word “nechama” (comfort) in the Torah, refers to a shift in mindset and a change in perspective.

The pathway to comfort is to see the bigger picture, to change our perspective, and understand our unique place and mission in G-d’s world.

May Hashem bless us all with the courage and wisdom to integrate this message in our lives!