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‘Every second felt like our last,’ say ex-hostages
“We have enough faith to survive in any situation that will come to us,” freed Israeli hostage Moran Stella Yanai told South Africans at a talk with her and rescued hostage Noa Argamani this week.
“I want you to think of all of the hostages as strong, to trust that those that are still inside will have the same miracle that I had,” she told the packed audience at Sandton Shul on 3 November.
The evening formed part of a joint initiative between the Jewish National Fund and The Base Shul community to bring freed hostages and their families to South Africa for respite, and to ensure that their stories reach South African Jewish audiences.
Yanai said it was through faith that she found the strength to endure sometimes unimaginable suffering and return to her beloved parents, siblings, and animals. “In my head, my whole family were hostages, like many other families in Israel today,” she said.
Yanai realised her dream of setting up a mobile jewellery store at the Nova festival on 6 October 2023. Yet, she was soon thrown into a nightmare as the barrage of rockets began early the next morning. “I had to run for five hours, five hours that I’m denying in my head, five hours that I’m hearing all the artillery I know of,” she said.
She escaped death multiple times that day by refusing to hide in places where those who did were ultimately killed. “I know it’s twisted to say the word ‘saved’ in this situation, but I was saved so many times that day, and I had to see the miracles,” she said. She escaped capture twice by pretending to be an Arab.
Yet, the third time, she was captured and driven into Gaza. “One terrorist ripped off all my jewellery. When he cut off the bracelets from my left hand, he accidentally carved the first letter of G-d’s name on my hand. I took a journey to the unknown, to surrender, to believe that something was guarding me.”
During her time in captivity, Yanai was moved to seven houses. “I lost 12% of my body weight,” she said. “I had severe lice. I lost half of my hearing. I had many injuries, many infections. I had three fractures in my leg. But that’s nothing compared to what we had to go through there.”
As a survival strategy, Yanai found herself entertaining the terrorists, doing whatever they wanted for food, water, information, and medicine. “One night, I said something wrong, and in a fraction of a moment, I had a gun pointed to my head. He didn’t shoot, but he threatened me every single day. In Gaza, we just had moments. If you survive a moment, you should say thank you for that. I said thank you so many times.”
Yanai reached breaking point multiple times, but ultimately surrendered to G-d’s choice. “I told Him: ‘I’m okay with it, dead or alive, because I know you protected me. I promise you to share this belief in any place that I can find.’”
The first time Yanai was told she’d be released, she was dragged back into Gaza at the last minute. But, four days later, she went home, despite not being on any list. “Nobody knows why, but I got to cross that border between Gaza and Israel,” she said.
“Please don’t kill us.” Noa Argamani’s call to Hamas terrorists as they kidnapped her on 7 October were heard around the world. “Just more than a year ago, I was a quiet young woman from Be’er Sheva and nobody knew my name,” she said. “I’m just a software engineering student who loves to travel the world, to celebrate life, and go to parties.”
It was at a party that she met her boyfriend, Avinatan Or, who remains a hostage. “There was something special about him. He had self confidence that no-one else had.”
After hours of fleeing and hiding, Argamani was famously dragged onto a motorcycle and separated from Or. “That was the last time I saw him. After just minutes, I was suddenly in the middle of Gaza. In captivity, I asked about Avinatan everywhere.” Argamani’s first thought was for her mother, Liora, who was battling cancer. “I had to see her again,” she said.
Argamani lived in fear every day. “I didn’t want the guard suddenly to lose control and kill us. All the terrorists were armed with many weapons. One mistake, and the entire situation could turn upside down. Every second felt like the last second of your life.”
Argamani was initially held with two little girls, Hila Rotem, 12, and Emily Hand, eight, in a tiny room without windows. “I had to be brave, not just for myself, but also for them, to act like everything was going to be okay. But of course, you’re terrified. I had a high fever and no medicine, and was able to shower only twice a month. We lost our humanity there.”
When on 8 June, Israeli soldiers came to rescue her, she understood she was safe only when she saw the Star of David on their uniforms. “Coming home was the happiest day of my life. It’s everything I thought about for every second, every day, for 246 days. Even today, there are moments I cannot believe that I’m safe,” she said.
“Standing here today is a miracle made possible by those incredible soldiers including Arnon Zamora, who gave his life to save mine. My mother’s last wish before she passed away was to see me again, and we both got our wishes.”
Yet, Argamani said that without Or, she’s not yet free. “I’ll wait for Avinatan,” she said. “I’ll wait for the day I can feel whole again. There are still 101 hostages just like him, 101 families in this nightmare every day. There’s not a moment to spare.”