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QUESTION: A Jewish man is intending to marry a Hindu woman in a Hindu ceremony. He has always felt very Jewish and wants his Jewish friends and relatives to attend the ceremony, including a rabbi who is a close friend of his. Is it permissible for them to attend?
SAJR
Rabbi Yehuda Stern replies:
Someone once said: “The greatest gift of life is friendship.” However there is something greater than friendship – the Torah and Jewish law. This is illustrated by two close friends who want to meet up at a restaurant for supper one evening. Jewish law determines where they can eat out and when they can eat out. These rules are not there to limit a friendship, but only to guide and direct it, as they do in every other area of our lives.
The Torah prohibits a Jew from marrying a non-Jew, no matter his/her race or religion. For them to participate in their friend’s wedding, is also prohibited as it is seen as an endorsement of the marriage.
In this case, Jewish law overrides their friend’s request. However, this is not a reason for them to break up the friendship. On the contrary, perhaps now he will respect them even more when he sees how strong they are to their values.
Rabbi Ari Kievman replies:
While it’s wonderful that Jewish people are accepting and embracing people of other faiths, our Torah only allows for marriage within our faith. Marrying out is detrimental to both parties in so many ways. Life is too valuable – and short – to experiment with.
Although I would maintain a cordial friendship with them and respect them as individuals, as a rabbi I would not attend such a ceremony even if the food served was strictly kosher. My presence at such an occasion would erroneously convey the message that I somehow support something so destructive.