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As a lifetime sufferer of FOMO (fear of missing out), I received the invitation with some excitement. Who, after all, wouldn’t want to attend a Tu...
My mind is made up. From today onwards, I’ll be boycotting cricket. All cricket. Even “one hand bounce” played on a Saturday afternoon in the garden....
One of my favourite children’s books is The Topsy Turvies. It’s the absurd story of Mr and Mrs Topsy-Turvy and their children, Fern and Vern, who...
World famous philosopher Dolly Parton got it right when she said, “Find out who you are, and then do it on purpose.” She might well have...
A few weeks before my wife was due to climb a mountain, she was advised by her doctor not to do so. It had something to...
I can’t be the only one who avoids eye contact with car guards. Or who lies to them as I scuttle into a shopping mall, mumbling...
The Friday night before 7 October is burned into my memory. It was the start of the final few days of Sukkot, and we spent the...
I was raised to think that the greater the criticism, the greater the expression of love. Whereas I know that in theory, this isn’t healthy or...
“Abby,” I said as patiently as I was able to, “Maybe you should think about coming home?” “Why?” was her immediate and impatient response, “There’s nothing...
According to an intersectional feminist on X, we shouldn’t be calling Gaza an “open-air prison”. No, says the she-pronoun person, because “prison” denotes criminality. And it’s...
If my parents were alive today, I would be in serious trouble. It wouldn’t be for a phone call, but they would ask me when a...
The news was slow to reach me. Whereas I don’t switch my phone off on Shabbat, I also don’t check it or use it. Which is...
There are three types of people in the world: those who close doors behind them; those who don’t; and those who make a half-hearted, insincere attempt...
I’m envious of people who know who they have offended. And who can make a phone call, have coffee, or even send a WhatsApp to apologise...
“Excuse me,” she said a little aggressively. “Are you guys going to be long?” I was confused, as although it’s not an unreasonable question – even...
A shul is judged by the ratio of tissue boxes to its members. It might be easy to think that a community is judged by the...
Spanish Football Federation regional leaders have called for the immediate resignation of President Luis Rubiales after he kissed player Jenni Hermoso on the lips. Rubiales, 46,...
When the COVID-19 pandemic ended and we returned to places of prayer, I realised that I was no longer “shul fit”. I found that I was...
I’m not qualified to write about cannabis. I have no experience with it, and have never even been tempted to give it a try. It might...
There needs to be an Idiot’s Guide to Death and Mourning. Not for the mourners necessarily, but for those who insist on making the lives of...
Although in the real world I might have done nothing wrong, the fact that my wife had had a dream that I did makes it immaterial....
I sometimes think we’re happy only when we have reason to be miserable. And that we get way too much pleasure from the tragedy of it...
You know what was great? That for one week no-one was confused about their identity. We were not asked to respect an impala who had always...
“I skeem my bru’s beak’s bust!” he said. Silence, as I tried to process the words. Initially, I thought I was perhaps having a stroke as...
I hadn’t realised it, but very few people in Glenhazel live in their own homes. They might physically be domiciled there, have paid for it, have...
He meant it as a compliment when in an email to the whole company, he thanked Bethanie and two others for their incredible work. Not done...
Winter in Johannesburg has made me realise that the difference between a breeze and a draft is about 30 years. Whereas I could never understand my...
I’m not sure what it says about my social life, but last week’s earthquake was the most fun we’ve had on a Saturday night in years....
“I swear, it’s like I have my wife back,” said a friend. We were talking about his recent solar installation and the way it had changed...
Soon after my morning show ended on Monday, the ChaiFM office received a call with a complaint. In of itself, this is hardly unusual, and I...
Shavuot is proof that G-d doesn’t really like Ashkenazi Jews. Either that or He has a great sense of humour. Because any festival that involves feeding...
The wonderful thing about a Shabbat morning walk from Glenhazel to Waverley, aside from the time to catch up with one’s wife, is the number of...
Mother’s Day is the one day a year when I don’t miss my late mom. Not because we weren’t close, and not because I didn’t want...
It started with “thwack!”, then another “thwack!”, followed by “thwack, thwack, thwack!” “Howard!” screamed my wife, although it wasn’t necessary as we were already sitting on...
Once again, South Africa leads the world. And this time it’s in the vexing area of gender assignment. The debate around gender can finally be solved....
Some of our biggest marital arguments involved Tupperware. Or rather, my failure to return a container that had been placed in my care. And whereas I...
Jewish mothers have used fear-based marketing for generations. They have learned the art of making us picture what will happen if in cold weather we don’t...
It turns out there hadn’t been fraud committed on the credit card. It hadn’t been stolen, and we hadn’t been hacked. In spite of my misgivings,...
“No-one,” said my wife, with the conviction of someone who indeed had asked everyone, “writes how much they loved working on their tombstone!” She paused for...
It turns out that there’s a name for them. I hadn’t heard of the concept, but it’s apparently a real thing around the world. And now,...
