Beauty not necessarily in the eye of the beholder

Likhlukhit was a woman so ugly, her husband divorced her, according to the Talmud. In exploring this story, Jewish educator and psychologist Adina Roth reflected on the nature of beauty and how women see themselves.

From the realm of Greek mythology to the Talmud to modern times, women have sought the secret to beauty, whether it be within a mythological box of ointment or through new cosmetic products. Yet, the Talmud offers hidden insights on what truly constitutes beauty, Roth told Limmud Johannesburg.

She highlighted a passage from Deuteronomy, which explains that a man may divorce his wife “if she finds no favour in his eyes” – if he doesn’t like something about her. Examining this, Roth looked at the Mishna, the oral Torah, in which Rabbi Akiva says that a man may also divorce his wife if he finds another woman who is more beautiful.

In both sources, said Roth, the evaluation of female beauty comes through the lens of the man. “Even from this very ancient text, we have the assessment of a woman’s beauty that is squarely in the domain of what, in feminist theory, is called the male gaze.”

Though in biblical times men could control the destiny of women through their “gaze”, this isn’t the case today. “However, the perception of the male gaze still influences how women feel about themselves,” said Roth. Women conspire with it by succumbing to the pressure it brings to look a certain way, and judging themselves and others accordingly.

Returning to the system of marriage in biblical times, which was central to society, Roth said rabbis had to find their power in the face of vows made by husbands, who declared their wives konam (forbidden), a form of divorce. Though vows are taken seriously in Judaism, according to the Mishna, if a vow is based on something that false, it doesn’t hold.

Furthermore, argues the Gemara, the rabbinic commentary on the Mishna, even if the vow wasn’t made in error, but an ugly woman became beautiful, it could be dissolved. This is especially true of something as transient as beauty.

In the story under discussion, the man could find nothing beautiful in his wife, Likhlukhit. He therefore declared her konam unless Rabbi Ishmael, the son of Yosei, who was an advocate for women’s beauty, could find something beautiful in her.

Likhlukhit stood before the rabbi and his students, and they analysed each of her physical features, finding nothing beautiful in any of them. Yet, when they heard her name, they found it beautiful as it reflected who she was. “It’s beautiful that she’s called by the name Likhlukhit, as she is dirty [melukhlekhet] with blemishes, and he admitted her [to her husband].”

“In terms of women’s empowerment, this story is easily attackable and disturbing, yet there’s also something quite profound going on,” Roth argued. “Talmudic stories sometimes challenge or subvert things or get us to think about the wider framework.”

Digging deeper, Roth said the story made a point about authenticity. “If your inside – who you are – is fully reflected on the outside through your name, there’s alignment, linked to the idea of authenticity. That congruence, Rabbi Yishmael seems to say, is beauty. This also gives women, even today, a way to climb out of the male gaze by reflecting on who they are, looking inwards, and finding their authenticity.”