Being compared to a Hilux bakkie

He meant it as a compliment when in an email to the whole company, he thanked Bethanie and two others for their incredible work. Not done with the praise, in the same message, he added that he could always count on them because they were as “reliable as his dad’s Hilux bakkie”.

It was probably the first time that Bethanie, the one Jewish woman in the cohort, had been compared to a bakkie – Hilux, Ranger, or other. And she wasn’t quite certain how to take it. I told her that she shouldn’t be perplexed. Second only maybe to being likened to Kudu biltong, I couldn’t imagine higher praise.

The other two women credited seemed to understand without explanation that his was high praise indeed.

In my attempt to explain it further, I suggested that had he compared her to the back of a bus, then she could understandably be offended. But a Hilux is much loved, and never lets you down.

In considering why this was the case, I came across a BBC article that stopped me in my tracks. “Couples compete in a wife-carrying contest.” The idea apparently originated in Finland, where husbands were Vikings and women didn’t need Ozempic. It took no time at all for my mind to consider if this could ever be a shul fundraising event, and what would happen if it were.

If there was a shortlist of the most non-Jewish events since Sinai (even Canaan), I imagine that a wife-carrying competition would be in the top five. Think of how many Jewish men are likely to be suffering from some form of degeneration of the lower back (exacerbated by golf), have an ACL injury from running, and a torn ligament or two from Padel. The wives, in better shape, will be hypoglycaemic from the eating disorder that they will have modified for the week or two prior to the event, not wanting to appear to have weighed their husbands down in front of the committee and other participants. And, G-d forbid, having tongues wag in speculation of how much weight had been gained.

That would be a disaster. And no funds would be raised.

This in sharp contrast to the Finns, who no doubt are able to fling their better halves effortlessly over their shoulder, comb back their long blonde, non-receding hair, and without so much as a second thought, canter the length of the track towards the finish line, before gently and easily placing their wives back on terra firma.

Jewish women may not be Hilux bakkies. But then, Jewish men are hardly Jeep Gladiators.

Bethanie remains unconvinced about her “shout out”. Whereas she might accept in principle that the intention was the best and the gratitude was genuine, much like a wife-carrying contest, she still struggles to connect to it.

This proves, in the best way possible, how magnificently different and diverse we are. It proves once again that we have unique cultural experiences, and that each is worth celebrating for its unique flavour. More than that, it proves without question that one woman’s Hilux is another woman’s Lexus.