Birthday twinning project brings light to dark times

They experienced unthinkable tragedy, but Bat-Galim Shaer and her husband Ofir continue to live with optimism and a desire to make the world a little brighter by connecting Jews from around the world.

Their son, Gil-ad, was one of the three Israeli boys kidnapped and murdered in the summer of 2014. Their organisation, Sonshine – Brightening the World in Their Memory, was founded to celebrate his life and legacy, and as a way to bring people across the world together in spite of so many divisions.

“When my son was kidnapped and murdered six and a half years ago, we felt a huge embrace from Jews around the world,” says Bat-Galim. “The inner strength that we found during the 18 days of searching for the boys, as a nation and as individuals, and the optimistic attitude that we chose [to have] after learning the boys’ fate, forced us to return to daily life and offer support to all Jews wherever it’s needed.”

Before the pandemic, Bat-Galim travelled around the world, realising the unity and connection she felt at the time of her family’s tragedy was something she found wherever she went. “It was meaningful. We realised that when we speak of am Yisrael, we are speaking of people that aren’t only in Israel, but Jews around the globe, whose hearts are here. We wanted to maintain that connection.”

Bat-Galim has a surprising South African link. She was born in Middleburg, Mpumalanga, where her father was the rabbi of the community for six years. The family returned to Israel when she was four, so her memories of South Africa are hazy. “But my parents loved that period of their lives, and they always told us lots of stories about the community, which was very meaningful for them,” she says.

Now, her organisation has launched a project that aims to increase this connection in a simple, light-hearted, and meaningful way by matching Jews who share a birthday, encouraging them to wish each other well on their special day, and continue their conversations throughout the year.

“There are about 14 million Jews in the world today, only half of whom live in Israel. In recent years, the bond between Israel and the Jews in the diaspora has been weakening. The coronavirus pandemic has increased the importance of the connection between us. Strengthening the bond between Israel and the Jews of the world is one of the significant challenges facing the Jewish people in the 21st century,” she says.

“The initiative, called Happy Birthday Two You, is one of those projects. It’s our hope that this global, digital initiative can bring about welcome change and create surprising connections. The idea came about when we launched a competition with 50 other organisations asking people to come up with ideas for projects that can strengthen the bond between Jews in Israel and the diaspora. There were about 700 entries, and this idea was thought of by someone in Canada, someone in America, and someone in Israel.”

They decided to go with it, and the results have been exciting. “It was launched on 3 January 2021, and we already have 1 600 people registered. With everyone sitting at home, people are really looking for connection.”

Taking part is easy. The website, mazeltov.world, is available in a variety of languages. You just enter your email address, followed by prompts to enter your name, surname, and date of birth. The system then scans its database for your “birthday buddy”, and you get an email introducing you to each other. Then it’s up to you to build your connection to this stranger who shares your Hebrew birth date. The email addresses are stored by the project and aren’t exposed to outsiders. If you wish to share your personal details, you can do so as part of a secure correspondence.

The more people who join, the more “birthday buddies” there will be, so it’s worth taking a minute to sign up and then see who you connect with and what you have in common.

Bat-Galim says that the time since the loss of her son has been “hard and complicated”.

“We try to get strength from our five amazing daughters, and we have one beautiful granddaughter who is three years old. We try to look at what we have with a “cup half full” [attitude]. We don’t ignore the pain, we feel it, and we miss Gil-ad. But we choose to live and be positive. And yes, I’ve ‘fallen down a lot’. You have to work at it. But a project like this makes me so happy.”

Happy Birthday Two You isn’t the only initiative by her organisation to bring a little brightness into the world. For example, just before Purim [before the pandemic], volunteers distribute mishloach manot to travellers leaving Ben Gurion Airport. They literally and symbolically spread joy in the world.

“Students from religious and secular schools enthusiastically work together preparing thousands of baskets. In the past two years, packages were delivered to more than 80 countries, reaching a total of several thousand people. Jews living abroad were excited to receive the gifts, and felt connected to Jews living in Israel,” says Bat-Galim.

Meanwhile, through the Sweet Heart project, hundreds of thousands of people all over the world mark Gil-ad’s Hebrew birthday, the 19th of Tevet (which usually falls in January), with one of his favourite hobbies: cooking and baking. People share recipes, prepare food, and bring treats to people they don’t know.

The Shaer family created the Facebook group Sweet Gilad and the Instagram account @sweetgilad, where anyone can upload and view video clips from this project. It has led to religious and secular youngsters working together to deliver delicacies to nursing homes; families bringing food to soldiers; and students baking and bringing confectionaries to hospitals to cheer up patients.

“This project has a tremendous number of participants in Israel and abroad. Especially on Gil-ad’s birthday we choose to increase optimism and joy for what we have and to help others.”

Prior to the pandemic, a musical event called Shiru Achim featured performances by professional musicians from across the religious spectrum. “It emphasises what unites us rather than what divides us and encourages hope through a genuine connection with music,” says Bat-Galim. The first event had more than 5 000 participants.

There are a number of other initiatives that spread joy, love, and light in simple but meaningful ways. Bat-Galim has also written a book which has just been released in English on Amazon, called Expecting My Child. “It’s a hard story, but also optimistic. It’s about the good deeds of am Yisrael during those tough days. It makes me feel proud to be a Jew,” she says.

• Visit https://mazeltov.world/En to find your birthday buddy.