Community unites in prayer and deeds for Hugo

NICOLA MILTZ

Warm-hearted Hugo Paluch, 14, of Yeshiva College, went to school last week Friday, with so much to look forward to: his birthday and one of his favourite Jewish holidays – Shavuot – a time of deep spirituality, togetherness and festivity.

His joy was cut short after a catastrophic accident which took place on the busy school playground during the break. Instead of breaking challah around the Shabbos table that night, he was fighting for his life in the Milpark Hospital’s intensive care unit.

While on the field, boys were playing with a goal post that had become loose, toppling over, and severely injuring Hugo. It is every parent’s worst nightmare to receive “that” call, which changes things forever.

The accident was witnessed by countless children, all helpless and stunned in disbelief. Desperate scenes of early panic and shock ensued as Hatzolah’s rescue team attended to the boy’s serious injuries.

At the time of going to press shortly before Shavuot, Hugo’s condition was described as critical.

In the hours and days following the accident, the heavily traumatised, tight-knit school and shul community, has been left with a profound sense that the world they once knew has slipped away, leaving behind instead a raw vulnerability and sense of loss.

“This is the manifestation of unimaginable fears for us as parents and educators, and we all share in the immense pain of the family and community,” said Rabbi Leron Bernstein on behalf of Yeshiva College. With the family’s blessing, he spent the Shabbat by Hugo’s side.

“The trauma of this event has far-reaching effects, given that we are a close-knit community and our children are all our family,” he said in a letter to parents.

Within minutes of the accident, Hugo’s Hebrew name was changed to include Chaim, signifying the seriousness and touch-and-go nature of his condition. With barely a few hours to spare before sunset, the community was galvanised into action. Dozens of WhatsApp groups were created asking people to daven and pray, during candle-lighting, for the complete recovery of Chaim Ze’ev ben Nicole Elizabeth.

Educational psychologist and board member of Yeshiva College, Sheryl Cohen, says this event has been deeply felt by all.

“It touches the most sensitive spot of communal human vulnerability and this fact alone is both unifying and terrifying,” she said.

After an agonising weekend children returned to school on Monday.

Support counsellors were brought in to offer group and individual sessions as well as staff debriefing across the campus, catering to a range of ages.

“We are making our way through the student body gradually so as to provide every learner with the appropriate high-quality support,” said Rabbi Bernstein in his letter.

He said the school was “pouring immense resources” into providing the necessary care.

Cohen discussed with parents how to support children during a trauma, expressing that there was no right or wrong way.

“It is personal,” she said, and elicits a wide-ranging set of responses.

“When this level of trauma occurs, there is an overwhelming sense of helplessness. The human psyche struggles to sustain that level of helplessness. The mind strives to create balance by creating a more powerful feeling. As such we might begin to ponder about “what should have; could have; would have happened…”

She said one might seek this power through “shouting; shaming and blaming”.

“One might blame others or even blame oneself (“how can I carry on my day when this is what has happened?”) These are negative defence mechanisms, which have a sense of ‘power’ but will leave you feeling more vulnerable.”

She strongly encouraged parents to allow their children to share their stories and engage on all levels about their feelings and responses to the tragedy.

Describing Hugo, Rav Bernstein said: “He exemplifies the greatest values of Torah, charity and kindness,” and he implored the community to “increase in these values in his merit and in the merit of the community as they united in love and in support.”

Taking Rabbi Bernstein’s words to heart there has been a grassroots movement which has harnessed the community into drawing on every possible reserve in its bid to offer comfort and support to those affected.

Special prayer groups, including at the hospital on Hugo’s Hebrew birthday, and lectures by spiritual leaders as well as charity drives and challah bakes in his name, have spread throughout parts of the country.

In one Morningside Tehillim group, at least 50 women – the majority of whom had absolutely no connection to Hugo and his family – gathered to pray in unison for his complete recovery.

One woman who attended Monday night’s challah bake said: “Hundreds of people came, we were sharing dough, some were singing songs, others were praying, it was very moving.”

Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein said: “I know Hugo Paluch personally and he is an astounding person, a talented young leader who is an activist for good, working on projects to make the world into a better place, and raising funds for many worthy causes.

“Hugo is a very special young man, who brings happiness to his family and all who know him. I know of countless stories of remarkable acts of kindness of his. His parents, Dov and Nicole, are beloved friends to me and my family and to so many others, and our special community’s inspiring and united response to this tragic accident is testimony to the greatness of the Paluch family. Our hearts and prayers are with Hugo and his family at this time.”

The boys and girls of grade 8 at Yeshiva College, started a blanket drive, aiming to collect 1 800 blankets “as Hugo loves charity” said a Facebook advert for the drive.

“We are helping him do more in the hope of a fast recovery,” it continued.

Parents have followed a special daily “action plan”, inspiring children to “Let’s make miracles today!” by praying harder, and doing more good deeds in Hugo’s merit.

For example on Monday the message read: “When you wake your kids this morning, pray by saying thank you for giving me a new day! A fresh start!”

It encouraged learners to say one blessing out loud during breakfast and shout Amen; and to refrain from bad-mouthing someone – loshon horah – for one hour between 10:00 and 11:00 that day.

On Wednesday the message to parents said: “Let’s say nice, kind things today and not complain about the small stuff… make people feel like they matter.”

The intensely private family has been comforted by the community’s ongoing support and solidarity. Friends close to the family have fiercely guarded their privacy throughout.

Said Cohen: “There is no inoculation for trauma. It’s about going through it and the power of unity; the power of prayer, the power of support carries us all.”