Couple live streams wedding – including the rabbi

History was probably made at the Red Ivory wedding venue in Hartbeespoort on 8 August 2021, when a progressive Jewish wedding took place without a rabbi in attendance.

Falling on Rosh Chodesh Elul, a day for celebration, the wedding was officiated by Rabbi David Benjamin over Zoom from Israel.

The bride, Tammy Solomon, and groom, Devan Becker, stood under the chuppah while the 40 attendees, comprised of immediate family and a few friends, watched the East London-born Rabbi on television. It was set up in front of the chuppah by Larry Nussbaum, a live streaming and Zoom specialist who has worked in the wedding industry for a quarter of a century. Nussbaum also placed cameras around the chuppah so Benjamin and about 40 other online viewers could watch the marriage of the animal-loving couple who met about seven years earlier.

A glass of wine was held up in front of the screen when Benjamin said sheva brachot, and the ketubah was held in front of a camera so Benjamin could read it.

Why the couple wanted Benjamin is a long story that starts when Becker converted to reform Judaism while he was Solomon’s fiancé.

“We tried desperately to do it Orthodox. We tried to prove that he was Jewish because there were papers on his mother’s side that prove it,” says Solomon. “There was just no help from anybody, so we went to Bet David [in Sandton] and Rabbi Adrian Schell completed the conversion on 6 August last year.”

The couple got engaged 17 days later, but soon found themselves without a rabbi after Schell, who Tammy describes as “a great guy”, informed them that he was leaving the country.

They eventually came across Benjamin, a University of Cape Town alumnus who moved to Israel in 1989. “He was actually supposed to be in the country, but with Israel not letting anybody out, we had to make a plan,” says Solomon. “We got to know him, and he was a very nice guy and we were happy with him, so we just decided to go ahead and do what we had to do. He said, ‘It can be done; I don’t have to be there. As long as you’ve got witnesses, it’s fine because that’s what you need.’

“I decided to stream it because I have a lot of family in Israel and America who couldn’t make it to the wedding,” says Solomon. “My grandfather is, like, 80 or something now – he had tickets booked and everything, and Israel was like, ‘no, no leaving’, so they had to cancel their tickets, and I was like, ‘let me stream’.”

Solomon approached Nussbaum with what he describes as “a challenge”. Having grown up in the wedding industry, Nussbaum developed live-stream capability about 13 years ago, and his company, YouView, facilitates Zooms for people and live streams weddings and other events such as funerals for the Chevrah Kadisha.

“Larry was very helpful,” says Solomon. “We had a meeting the night before the wedding, so it was last minute, but he pulled off the technical side of it. He made sure that everything was correct and perfect; he muted everyone so that we didn’t have people talking. He was a big part of making sure that it worked perfectly. I don’t know how it would have happened if he hadn’t stepped in.”

Nussbaum facilitated the Zoom meeting, co-ordinated all the parties involved such as DJ Jarred Kruger, made sure the PA system worked clearly, and basically managed the whole process from an electronic point of view.

The Marks Trio, a jazz band, played at the chuppah ceremony and provided some light entertainment while photographs were taken before the reception. Though the reception wasn’t streamed, it followed COVID-19 protocols just like the chuppah ceremony.

“With COVID-19 and so many restrictions, you would never get that same big Jewish wedding that you’ve always dreamed of having,” says Solomon. “People don’t want to be on the dance floor doing the horahs, they don’t want to be on top of one another. We had it to an extent, as Jarred sussed out the vibes, he gave us a little bit of the horahs, got people on the dance floor, but also knew when people didn’t want to continue.”

Dinner, which included hot beef on rye as the main meal, was served by Stacey Baron Catering. “It was amazing,” says Solomon. “We wanted something different, so we went with what I think was a unique menu. It wasn’t the normal food you would get if you had Riva or Gary Friedman Caterers.” Instead of a wedding cake, they had a mini doughnut cake.

“Above everything else, the venue and the rabbi worked perfectly, and it was just an amazing day,” says Becker.

“There was obviously a lot of stress about the day with it being over Zoom, worrying about the connection and what people would think,” says Solomon. “But it went smoothly. We’re just happy it happened, and the way it worked out. The most important thing is that we got married.”