Dinah and destiny, a life lesson

The shocking incident of Dinah’s abduction by Shechem and his father, Chamor, is one of the themes of this week’s parsha. They thought they could take advantage of the first Jewish family, but brothers Shimon and Levy put an end to their nefarious plan, and rescue their sister.

Based on the premise that nothing happens without a reason, the question we have to ask is why did this incident occur to tzaddikim like Yaakov Avinu and Dinah?

Rashi answers by taking us back to the beginning of the parsha, to the meeting between Yaakov and Esav. After so many years of estrangement, Yaakov made some careful preparations for this reunion, protecting his wives and children from Esav’s evil gaze. And he protected his daughter, Dinah, by hiding her in a box. He was worried that she would be kidnapped by Esav.

Our sages tell us that this was a mistake. Had Esav seen Dinah, they would have ended up getting married, and Esav would have been positively influenced by Dinah’s holiness. But because Yaakov hid her away, she was abducted by Shechem, a person even more wicked than Esav!

But this answer is problematic. In last week’s parsha, the sages tell us that Leah (Dinah’s mother) cried because she knew that she was destined to become the wife of Esav, and prayed to Hashem to change this destiny. If Leah did everything she could to get out of marrying Esav, why couldn’t Yaakov do the same for his daughter?

Perhaps the answer is that Dinah’s situation is different in that she wasn’t given the choice of changing Esav’s evil ways, she was completely prevented from doing so by her father. We see Dinah’s tremendous power and good influence in the most unlikely place, when the Torah continues telling us about Shechem, saying, “And his soul clung to the soul of the daughter of Yaakov, and he loved her and spoke to her heart.” Dinah had a positive influence on this wicked man’s soul. A changed Shechem even agrees to have all the men in his city circumcised!

Yaakov didn’t allow that to happen. He didn’t give Esav the opportunity to change, and didn’t give Dinah the opportunity to fulfil her destiny to improve Esav.

Parents can learn from this a powerful message about raising their children to be who they are meant to be, and not put them in a “box”. To enable our children to fulfil their destiny, even if it may be different to what we think that destiny ought to be.

We learn the tremendous power and influence that Hashem has given all of us. We have no idea how our actions affect other people, what their ripple effect will be. In such a short space of time, Dinah could change a whole city of people. We learn from Dinah that every single one of us has great potential to change the world.