Elliot Wolf, the mannered mensch who inspired King David

“I never married and I never had my own children, but I’ve been blessed with thousands who, in return, provide me with so much pleasure and pride that I could wish for nothing better.”

These words by the late Elliot Wolf in a documentary made in 2015 perfectly sum up his relationship with the 7 395 pupils he encountered either as a teacher or headmaster at King David High School Linksfield.

And they resonated through the webinar that the King David Schools’ Foundation hosted in tribute to him on Tuesday, 7 December.

Wolf gave 33 years of service to King David High School Linksfield (KDHSL) as a teacher, deputy head, and headmaster.

Thousands of people felt the loss of his sudden passing at the beginning of last month, said his twin brother, Jeffrey Wolf. “Thousands for whom he was both an icon of Jewish education and the Jewish community.”

Wolf and his brother grew up in Yeoville, Johannesburg. In 1956, they graduated from the University of the Witwatersrand, majoring in English, Latin, and Hebrew. Two years later, Wolf started a ten-year spell as a teacher at Parktown Boys High School.

In 1968, the Wolf twins crossed professional paths for the first time when KDHSL Principal Norman Sandler recruited them as Latin and English teachers. By 1974, they had become twin headmasters, with Jeffrey serving as the principal of King David Victory Park.

“Not a week went by without our having long conversations to compare notes, confer, advise, and counsel each other,” recalls Jeffrey.

For Jeffrey, the loss of his brother feels like he has lost a limb or, even more than that, a part of his heart.

“We were one ovum, which Hashem decided to split into two, knowing that our beloved mom wouldn’t be able to have more children,” says Jeffrey. “Yes, we looked alike. Some even thought we were identical. But it’s in our thoughts and feelings that we were always in total sync, replicating what the other thought and felt. His identity was dissolved into mine, mine into his.”

From wombmates to roommates and soulmates, their lives mirrored each other in many ways.

“We were always in the same class at the same schools, at the same cheder,” says Jeffrey. “We both studied the piano together for 10 years. And we loved tennis. We played doubles together in many tournaments, even bickering if one of us was guilty of a mishit. At school, we always chose the same subjects. We majored at university in the same three languages, but for one reason, in order to be together.”

From the beginning of their time at KDHSL, Wolf and his brother were seen by Sheryl Benjamin and other teachers at the school as being groomed for a position of importance in the Jewish school system.

“We knew from early on that Elliot was being groomed to take over from Norman Sandler,” says Benjamin. “Even though in the early days he was just a teacher, he was always that little bit reserved. I mean, I was nearly wed, so I didn’t participate in this, but there were many good-looking young teachers who tried quite hard to attract his attention, but if you know Elliot Wolf, he never once behaved in an inappropriate way.”

“One really came into contact with greatness together with humility when interacting with Mr Wolf,” said Rabbi Craig Kacev, the former director of the South African Board of Jewish Education. “Real achievement, real stature, what David Brooks calls ‘eulogy virtues’, not resume virtues. He really aimed for the right things in this world.”

Wolf would show his perfectionist side by making his voice heard if anything wasn’t to his liking, says Kacev. “Yet, at the same time, you could have an open conversation, and, at the end, if he felt he was wrong, you’d hear him chuckle, and that wonderful smile would appear on his face.”

To Lorraine Srage’s mind, Wolf never believed she would be sitting in his chair as principal of KDHSL today.

“Sometimes, in my office, I kind of feel like he’s looking over me, and thinking, ‘Oh my G-d, she hasn’t changed much.’”

Srage loved sport when she started teaching at KDHSL in 1982.

“I just want to teach phys-ed,” she told Wolf. Wolf looked her in the eye, and responded, “You’re not only going to teach phys-ed, you’re going into the classroom.”

That set Srage’s career on a path for which she’s “forever indebted to him”.

They shared a passion for sport, with Srage marvelling at Wolf’s love for tennis and cricket. “He used to come to me on a Monday morning with the Rand Daily Mail, and show me all the Jewish children that had been selected in those days for Transvaal.”

Wolf’s nephew, Graham Wolf, says, “The incredible closeness and the place that uncle El had in all our lives was for me so clearly demonstrated in an amusing story: I had a birthday party while I was at nursery school. One of the kids that came to the party left, shattered and in tears, and told his mother that it was really unfair that Graham had two dads. That’s the reality, uncle El was my second dad. Shabbos, supper, Sunday lunch, every family holiday he was on would have never been the same without uncle El, and certainly won’t be the same again.”

Raelene Tradonsky, one of the very few people who could call Wolf by his first name, travelled around the world with him to visit alumni and raise funds for King David schools. “I got to witness first-hand how revered he was by his former students years after they matriculated,” she says. “They treated us like royalty.”

During the webinar, a video was shown of Wolf recounting his time attending King David reunions all over the world. “It’s been an amazing experience to see what the students have achieved wherever they’re living,” he said in the video. “It’s been rewarding also to see how strong their Jewish conscience is. Many of them are taking leading roles in the schools where their children are enrolled, and have been leaders in their Jewish community. These students have made their mark. And, of course, for any educationist, to see what your students have achieved gives one tremendous vicarious pride.”

The webinar featured tributes from King David alumni, who described Wolf as the quintessential mensch who brought out the best in everyone and encouraged students to seize every opportunity. He was 50 years ahead of his time in understanding children, they said.