Facing gender issues, dress first

NICOLA MILTZ

But now, at 17, he is shaking things up by challenging these stereotypes. Last month, the Grade 11 pupil was banned from wearing a woman’s dress to his school’s fashion show fundraiser.

He saw this as an opportunity to spark a conversation about gender stereotyping, but his school, Reddam House in Bedfordview, was having none of it. The school’s management told him that while they were prepared to hold future discussions about gender equality, the fashion show was not the right platform.

Instead of a dress, Joffe-Hunter wore a suit – despite a petition by 83 classmates in support of his wearing a dress.

“I wanted to wear a dress for two reasons,” he told the SA Jewish Report recently. “Firstly, I wanted to spark progressive discussion about gendered clothing and expression. And secondly, I thought I might enjoy wearing a dress, regardless of any activism.”

Joffe-Hunter insists that sexuality and gender are not automatically connected. “I could be straight and dress in traditional female clothing, or I could be gay and dress in a traditional masculine fashion. There is no necessary link between gender, sexuality and how someone dresses.”

He adds that some kids are gender non-conforming, wanting something other than what society offers.

“While I’m happy to wear jeans and a shirt, it would be nice to wear a dress without having to justify it,” says Joffe-Hunter, who sometimes wears scarves and a kikoi around his waist but “only at home with my closest friends”.

The gender revolution has taken the US by storm in recent years. It is only just starting to take shape across South African schools, where the lines between male and female have become increasingly blurred.

With celebrity role models such as singer Miley Cyrus, who no longer identifies with a gender and calls herself pansexual, and actor Will Smith’s son Jaden, who wore a dress to his senior prom, it’s becoming increasingly evident that gender doesn’t simply mean male and female. This is the terrain that the youth of today are navigating. Says Johannesburg psychologist Lisa Kallmeyer: “Our youth are exposed to various forms of self-expression.”

It is a world in which celebrities such as Academy Award-winning actress Charlize Theron have entered the gender conversation. Theron has received criticism and praise in equal measure for allowing her six-year-old son Jackson to wear clothes traditionally made for girls, including tutus, dresses and frilly tops with patterned leggings and ballerina pumps.

Theron has been criticised on social media for “allowing him to be the boy he wants to be”, but has so far been unrelenting in her acceptance of her little boy’s clothing choices. And it’s people like Caitlyn Jenner who have brought the gender conversation to the forefront of pop culture.

Jon Brooks, a US reporter says some people are redefining gender identity. He says they identify as both male and female; others as neither male nor female; and still others as sometimes male and sometimes female. These individuals may use any number of terms to describe their gender identity: genderqueer, gender-fluid, gender-creative, gender-expansive.

While definitions fluctuate, he says “nonbinary gender” has emerged as an umbrella description.

Popular TV host Ellen DeGeneres has transformed the fashion industry with her clothing line, ED. The line offers “non gender-specific” clothes, highlighting the notion that being a girl is not analogous with dressing in a traditionally girlie way. DeGeneres’ collaboration with GapKids in 2015 homed in on giving girls the option to “be who they want to be, not what clothing stores dictate they should be”.

At the time, the comedienne and business mogul said: It starts when you’re able to express yourself.”

“I want to make sure that everyone knows that what makes you different right now, makes you stand out later in life.”

As more youths redefine their gender identity in nonbinary terms, the question is raised about whether schools, workplaces and parents in South Africa will begin to adapt to the change.

Just last month, a pupil from a top Johannesburg private boys’ college stood up in front of the whole school and came out. He was applauded for his bravery. Says Kallmeyer: “How much better his life will be moving forward, as opposed to generations past when a boy would’ve had to keep his true identity hidden.

But Johannesburg psychologist Hazel Kurian said that while South Africa has one of the world’s most progressive Constitutions, “change does not happen overnight”.

“The idea that gender is fluid and not binary is something that, sadly, most South Africans are not even aware of, let alone understand and accept.”

On the matter of Joffe-Hunter being told by the school that it was supportive and inclusive but that there were alternative avenues to discuss the subject, Kurian said: “One should query when a good time is and how the school will engage in useful, inclusive and progressive conversation on the matter. I think what happened shows just how unprepared many schools are for this.

“Children, adolescents and adults who identify as trans, or even just question gender binary perceptions, face discrimination and challenges. This is why it is important for conversations about safe spaces to enter more prominently into the mainstream.”

Kurian said it was vital for schools to provide places where pupils could express, debate and question their gender identities in an emotionally secure space.

Meanwhile, Joffe-Hunter is positive that things are shifting, albeit slowly. “There are guys on the same page as me some who would never consider wearing a dress themselves but who are supportive. Even if everyone doesn’t start the conversation, there is definitely the potential for people to join in.”