Friendships reignited through Facebook

GILLIAN KLAWANSKY

When Lori Osrin and Nicolene Holthausen reconnected on Facebook, they hadn’t seen each other for almost 15 years. Initially introduced by a mutual friend, the two house-sat together for three weeks, forged a strong bond, and then lost touch. “We were very young, and just took separate paths,” says Osrin.

They later reunited on Facebook through that same mutual friend. But tragically, it was upon his death that the two made plans to get together. “Nicolene came to visit me one weekend, and she’s basically never left,” says Osrin.

Aside from rediscovering the bond they’d initially built, the women were astounded by a new unlikely connection. “Nicolene was involved in a car accident 11 years ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury,” says Osrin. “I live with an acquired brain injury. Now we work together. We’re both living with these brain conditions, but we help each other function. She’s not Jewish, but she’s reformed my faith in G-d. She’s been such a blessing in my life. It’s amazing how we reconnected. We missed out on so much of each other’s lives, but we’re so similar.”

Susan Olswang is also in awe of the power of social media after having just tracked down a woman she hadn’t seen for 50 years. The two met in Canada when Olswang was just 10 years old and reeling from the death of her father. “His death was such a shock to both my mom and I,” she recalls. “In her wisdom, my mother took me out of school for six months, and we travelled the world to help us get away from our grief.” Olswang’s father was South African, while her mother was born in Estonia.

“Part of our trip involved visiting my mother’s Estonian friends who were living around the world,” says Olswang. “One of the families we stayed with was that of an Estonian school friend of hers who was living in Toronto with her husband and two daughters. We stayed with them for six weeks.” After her mother’s passing 13 years ago, Olswang lost her link to this family but thought of them often.

When Olswang shared this story, another Estonian friend told her about an Estonian genealogy group on Facebook. He invited her to join, and Olswang posted all the details she had in the hope of reconnecting with one of the family’s daughters.

“I only knew their first and maiden names, I assumed they’d married, and that their parents had died. Just a few minutes after I posted my story, a woman said she thought she’d been to school with one of the daughters, Mailis. Less than half an hour later, Mailis herself answered, and said, “It’s me.” When she replied, I started crying, in fact I’m crying now, thinking about it again. Fifty years down the line, we’ve reconnected.”

The fact that Mailis even saw the message was a small miracle. “She’s actually on holiday in Mexico at the moment with a bad Wi-Fi connection, and said she hadn’t been on the group much while away,” says Olswang. “If she’d checked a day or two later, I imagine my post would have moved down the page, and she might never have seen it. But she did see it, and now we’ve started writing.” The women plan to phone one another after Mailis’s holiday, and hope eventually to travel to reconnect in person.

With both their mothers having passed away, the two value their reconnection that much more. “Mailis was, in fact, named after my mom,” says Olswang. “Our mothers’ bond was very strong, and I’ve often wondered as the next generation if we could form some kind of long distance friendship. Mailis has lost her sister too, so for her to have a connection to an important part of her childhood is important to her too. I’m blown away.”

Belinda Rabbie and Melissa Wener Stonehill also hadn’t seen one another for decades when they reconnected on Facebook. “We grew up together. We were such good friends,” recalls Rabbie. “I have memories of Melissa, of going to her house, and playing and spending time with her family. We went to primary school together in Cape Town.” Yet when the girls were 10, Wener Stonehill and her family emigrated to the United States and made a new life in San Francisco.

“That was 30 years ago, so obviously there was no email or cell phones,” laughs Rabbie. “We kept in touch by writing letters to each other. We also used to record our news on a cassette tape. I initially got one and recorded a long “voice note” with all my news. She’d receive the tape from me, listen and then record over with all that was happening in her life. We’d send it back and forth in those brown envelopes.” Yet over the years, life happened, and the two lost contact.

Decades later with the advent of Facebook, the two reconnected. “We filled each other in on all of our news, on our husbands, kids, and lives,” says Rabbie. “ Recently, she sent me a message on Facebook, saying that she was coming back to South Africa because her husband was offered a position in Pretoria.”

Upon visiting Cape Town this December, Rabbie found a photo of herself, Wener Stonehill, and a few other kids at her birthday party blowing out candles. They came full circle last month when they took a photo at another party – this time held for Wener Stonehill’s two-year-old son.

“Melissa invited me and another school friend,” says Rabbie. “It was like a mini reunion after not seeing each other for about 30 years. Although it was a bit weird after so long, it was so nice to see her. Her parents were also visiting from San Francisco, and I remember them so well. It was wonderful to reconnect again.” The women plan to get together again soon to reminisce properly.