Gem of a book of Jewish girls’ coming of age

SHIRA DRUION

The evidence of this is her book titled: “My Own Bat Mitzvah Book: MADE BY ME”.

Jaff-Klein who grew up in Johannesburg and attended King David Victory Park, is a member of an Orthodox synagogue in London. She later practised law, specialising in human rights. Her thirst for Judaism motivated her to study further at Pardes Seminary and the Yakar Centre for Tradition and Creativity.

“When I think back to my batmitzvah at Temple Emanuel, it is not a time I recall with great fondness. It did not really offer me the chance to deeply engage with what I was going through as a young teenager.”

She speaks about a young woman’s Jewish journey with emotion and an outlook that is fresh and clearly on par with cutting-edge pedagogy. “Although I read from the Torah, the experience was sorely lacking in providing me with the kind of spiritual awakening that a batmitzvah celebration should bring with it. This became a driving force for the creation of the book in which I wanted to echo the beauty of this pivotal milestone in a young girl’s life.

“A few years ago my family was living in Israel and attending a synagogue near our home. One Shabbat, our [then] four-year-old daughter came running up to me in tears. Apparently she was not allowed on the bima with her big brother and his friends.

Why? Well, because she was a girl, of course. I was amazed that she should be exposed to such blatant discrimination at the tender age of four. I immediately vented my displeasure on our rabbi friend with whom I regularly studied: How could we allow our daughter to feel so excluded? What would we do about her batmitzvah? How was I to explain to her that she couldn’t read from the Torah in front of men?

Her batmitzvah would be just a few months after her brother’s barmitzvah and the juxtaposition would be so blatant!

“When I calmed down, our rabbi gently asked me to remind him of my daughter’s age. “Um, four.” “Right,” he responded, “you have a few years to figure it out before panicking!”

He also offered me some other crucial advice: “Don’t try to emulate the barmitzvah ceremony just for the sake of it. There are lots of things wrong with barmitzvahs. If you want to make the batmitzvah ceremony meaningful, I suggest you go back to first principles and innovate ways to make a coming-of-age milestone meaningful.” So that is precisely what I did.”

The book is a compilation of 15 beautifully illustrated chapters. Jaff-Klein co-edited the book alongside Juliet Simmons, a creative marketing consultant and active member of the community.

The content ranges from delving into the meaning behind a name, to body awareness, the history of one’s roots, culture, tikkun olam, modesty and more. Each chapter has been written by different women who share Jaff-Klein’s vision for embracing authentic Jewish femininity that will encourage the next generation of young women to assume their place in the Jewish narrative with a balance of grace and strength.

“The editors of the book – Jaff- Klein and Simmons – had a very soulful, spiritual and artistic vision for this batmitzvah book,” says Johannesburg-based clinical psychologist Adina Roth who runs her own batmitzvah programme and is a significant contributor to the book.

“They wanted it to look really beautiful and to engage the girls in an honest way through the heart and mind. They aimed for it to appeal to girls across the spectrum, ranging from observant to less observant, from ‘Jewishly’ literate to less ‘Jewishly’ educated. 

“Mostly, the book invites the girls to be introspective, to reflect on their lives, on where they come from and what their values are, on what the problems are in the world around them and to think about what they want from their lives. It’s fun, deep and thoughtful. I really resonated with their vision and wanted to be a part of it. “