How to overcome today’s 10 plagues

STEVEN GRUZD

This year, extended family won’t be able to gather together as we perfect social distancing, so here are ten COVID-19-inspired lockdown plagues to ponder.

1. Loneliness – Pesach is a time for family togetherness as we commemorate the exodus from Egypt. It will be extremely unusual and lonely in 2020 to not celebrate together with our families. People living on their own and the elderly will also feel isolated at this time. We should make a special effort to connect with family and friends by telephone or videocall in the days leading up to the seder. Remember, we are all alone together.
2. Boredom – Being cooped up in our homes for three weeks can become frustrating. Watch a classic movie, read a good book, and play board games to send boredom packing. Writing, cleaning the house, and working from home will also all help the hours to tick by faster. Just don’t create an indoor ice-hockey rink.
3. Cabin fever – Just as the ten plagues compounded one another, cabin fever is fed by loneliness and boredom. Make sure you can spend some time each day outside, whether it is playing with your pets, walking to buy essential groceries, or exercising in the autumn sunshine. Don’t get arrested or accosted by the army.
4. Irritation – Living on top of others for such an extended period can cause us to become annoyed with close family members who have become too close. Try not to get on one another’s nerves by practicing some social distancing within social distancing. Be patient, empathetic, and kind, and remember, “Thou shalt not murder.”
5. Overeating – Our grocery cupboards, fridges, and freezers are chock-a-block with panic-bought food. We are in danger of ballooning to twice our size as we race to consume the comestibles before their sell-by date. Many are on a seafood diet in lockdown – we see food, and we eat it. Ensure you’re not raiding the biscuit tin every fifteen minutes.
6. Ironing – Many families have allowed their domestic workers to return to their own families during these difficult times. This has created a plague of un-ironed washing across the length and breadth of the land. My advice here is to decrease the problem by wearing only clothing that doesn’t need ironing.
7. Depression – Constantly watching and listening to the news about the pandemic can cause you to become depressed and despondent. So can the close confines in which we find ourselves. Make sure you tune out from news sources, share your anxiety with others, talk it out, and seek professional help if needed. Don’t let the coronavirus blues make you feel black and blue.
8. Sedentariness – The temptation to do your national duty by lying on the couch all day should be avoided. Get off your butt, and do some exercise! There are countless online keep fit programmes to get you active.
9. Darkness – This plague is shared with the ancient Egyptians. With our electricity supply problems over the past decade, Eskom has made sure that South Africans are all too familiar with darkness. Make sure you have enough matches, candles, and LED lights charged up for when load shedding strikes.
10. Binge watching – The temptation to nestle in front of Netflix for days on end is enhanced during this time. Remember, your mother warned you that your eyes would go square if you watch too much television. Everything in moderation so that you don’t become a couch-potato latke.

Overcome the COVID-19 plagues and have a chag Pesach kasher v’sameach (happy Passover). Next Year in Jerusalem – or at least next year together again!