In-person interaction antidote to loneliness

Loneliness is a global epidemic. It’s often called the silent killer, and for good reason. Studies have repeatedly shown that chronic loneliness can be as detrimental to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The physiological and psychological impacts of this modern-day plague are staggering, with loneliness linked to heart disease, cognitive decline, depression, and even early mortality. It’s not just an emotional state but a profound public health crisis, affecting millions across all ages and demographics.

In a world increasingly connected through technology, the paradox of loneliness has only grown. Platforms like Facebook and Instagram, designed to bring us closer together, often exacerbate the sense of isolation many feel. Despite the illusion of constant connectivity, meaningful relationships are being replaced with superficial interactions, leaving an ever-expanding void.

This isn’t just a theory; the data is unequivocal. A study by Brigham Young University revealed that loneliness increases the risk of premature death by 26%. In the United Kingdom, more than two million older adults report feeling persistently lonely, prompting the government to appoint a minister for loneliness. Meanwhile, in the United States, nearly half of all adults admit to feeling lonely. The COVID-19 pandemic only worsened this crisis, forcing individuals into isolation and magnifying the issue on a global scale.

Amid this crisis, Wholesome Spaces was born. Like many transformative ideas, it emerged from personal adversity. Following my divorce in 2021, I found myself grappling with profound loneliness. My tightly knit social circle – once filled with couples and families – dissipated as I navigated the uncharted waters of life as a single, mature adult. The pain was palpable, but it also sparked an idea: what if I could channel my darkness into light for others? Through conversations and research, I discovered an untapped universe of mature singles in similar circumstances – isolated, yearning for connection, often with no sense of community, and unsure where to begin. And so, Wholesome Spaces was founded with a singular goal: to bring together people with wholesome values and a willingness to engage in meaningful, in-person interactions.

What began in Johannesburg as a small group of 13 individuals on a weekend retreat at the Vaal River has since blossomed into a thriving community.

This experience led me to deep dive into the science behind human connection. Psychologists emphasise that belonging and community aren’t luxuries, they are necessities. Research published in the Journal of Health Psychology confirms that social connections boost resilience, lower stress, and even improve physical health. Loneliness, on the other hand, can lead to increased inflammation in the body, suppressed immune function, and a greater risk of developing chronic illnesses.

So what can we do to combat this?

Wholesome Spaces offers more than just activities; it provides a lifeline. Participants often share how their involvement has reignited a sense of purpose and belonging. One member described it as “a new family” that brought hope after the loss of a spouse. Another credited the initiative with helping to rebuild self-esteem and joy after years of isolation. These stories reflect a larger truth: connection is the antidote to loneliness. As highlighted in two recent Time magazine articles, peer support and community-based initiatives can have a profound impact on mental health. While digital tools have their place, there’s no substitute for in-person interactions that foster genuine, heartfelt relationships.

Practical solutions for a connected life:

1. Prioritise in-person interactions

While digital tools can help facilitate connection, they cannot replace the value of face-to-face engagement. Communities that encourage regular meetups, cultural events, and small group gatherings have shown significantly lower levels of loneliness.

2. Create peer-led support networks

According to a Time magazine article titled “The power of the peer”, individuals who participate in peer support groups experience higher levels of well-being. Unlike traditional therapeutic interventions, these groups offer a sense of belonging and shared understanding that can be deeply transformative. It argues that though peer supporters may lack the clinical training of mental health professionals, their lived experiences foster empathy, connection, and understanding that often resonates deeply with those they help, tapping into the strength of shared humanity, proving that genuine connections can catalyse healing, resilience, and a renewed sense of belonging, even in the face of profound loneliness.

3. Build authentic relationships through vulnerability

In “Let’s embrace vulnerability in dating”, Time magazine emphasises the importance of showing authenticity and vulnerability to foster meaningful relationships. In a world that often rewards curated perfection, learning to embrace our imperfections and share our true selves can lead to more meaningful relationships. It debunks the myth that personal struggles make individuals less desirable, instead framing openness as a strength that builds trust and connection. By creating a safe space where vulnerability is welcomed, initiatives like Wholesome Spaces not only combat loneliness but help members rediscover their self-worth and establish meaningful relationships, romantic or otherwise.

4. Rethink how we define community

For many, the idea of community is still rooted in religious or family structures. While these remain important, modern community-building must adapt to new lifestyles. Whether through interest-based groups, social clubs, or intentional living arrangements, finding ways to create genuine connections outside traditional structures can be life-changing.

The loneliness epidemic isn’t confined to any one demographic or geography. Governments and health institutions are recognising that loneliness isn’t just a social issue, it’s a public health priority. Japan has appointed a minister for isolation; the United Kingdom has developed national loneliness strategies – from community centres to digital literacy programmes for older adults; and other countries are implementing community-based interventions to reduce social isolation. These efforts demonstrate that loneliness isn’t an insurmountable problem, it’s a challenge that can be addressed with creativity, empathy, and collective will.

But this isn’t just a matter for policymakers. As individuals, we can take steps to make a difference. Whether through hosting a dinner for someone who lives alone, joining a local community initiative, or simply making the time to check in on friends and family, small actions can have a profound impact.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own journey, it’s that no-one should have to face loneliness alone. While it may seem like an insurmountable challenge, the solution lies in rebuilding the foundations of community one connection at a time. It reminds us that, while loneliness is a universal issue, the solutions often lie within our own circles. Whether through government policies, community initiatives, or individual acts of kindness, we all have a role to play in building a more connected world.

As the Jewish community, we have long understood the power of togetherness. From the warmth of Shabbat dinners to the shared responsibility of tzedakah, our traditions emphasise the importance of community. We can build on this foundation, creating platforms for connection and support. Let’s not underestimate the power of a simple gesture – a warm invitation, a shared meal, a meaningful conversation. Together, we can combat the loneliness epidemic and ensure that no-one has to face life’s challenges alone.

• Paul Bacher is a social entrepreneur, community builder, and business leader with a passion for fostering meaningful connections, driving impact-driven initiatives, and creating spaces for personal and collective growth.