Kicking people from your seat is spiritually unhealthy

Kicking people out of one’s seat in shul, and being kicked out of someone else’s seat, as unpleasant as both interactions are, seem to be a not uncommon feature of the shul-going experience.

But being ousted and ousting others in shul is a serious matter, subject to clear halachic guidelines. The Shulchan Aruch, the Code of Jewish Law states categorically, “One is to establish a fixed place to pray that should not be changed unnecessarily. And it’s not sufficient that one has a fixed shul that one prays in; rather, in addition, within one’s affixed shul, one must have a fixed place.” (O.C. 90:19). Later authorities declare the fixed place to be a distance of four amot(equivalent to two metres).

Thus, halacha emphasises the importance of a person’s place in shul, and superficially, it appears to promote the practice of evacuating shul-seat trespassers.

But nothing could be further from the truth.

There are two questions that reveal this. First, what value is being expressed through this halacha? If you decide to choose a different shul or seat on a particular day, how does that make your prayers any less effective? Second, why did the halachic authorities decide on a distance of two metres? That’s pretty big. Who needs such a large space to pray in?

If we look deeper, we realise that the requirement of a fixed shul and a fixed place within that shul isn’t in order to fulfil our own prayer needs. For that, we need only a half a metre or so, and for that, we might as well shul-hop and seat-shuffle in search of new inspiration. Or stay at home, for that matter.

Rather, the reason for having our own fixed seat in shul is to take on the responsibility of looking after the needs of all those who extend beyond it, at least within a two-metre distance.

It should come as no surprise that the Talmud derives this halacha from the practice of none other than Avraham Avinu, known in the Jewish tradition as “the pillar of kindness”.

We are gradually returning to shul after the physical (and sadly, social) distancing resulting from COVID-19. Due to safety regulations, we return within a limited number of permitted places, with strict requirements to stick to our own designated seats and maintain a two-metre distance away from anyone else.

There seems to be a message in all of this. Perhaps the message is that something has gone wrong with our understanding of the halacha, our vision of what a shul is, and our place within it. Maybe we have lost the healthy mindset of it being a place to care for others, and have become infected by caring for our own needs instead.

Perhaps when we realise that our places in shul are to be used to make other people feel welcome, then our shuls and our places within them will be restored to the healthy, warm, and welcoming places of kindness that Avraham Avinu and the halacha intended them to be.

• This article is dedicated to the memory of Reb Nochum Coblenz, who went out of his way not only to me feel welcome at the Kollel, but all who entered it.