Life under lockdown: how to stay sane

GILLIAN KLAWANSKY

Social isolation is mooted as the best way to slow the virus’ spread so that fewer people will require treatment simultaneously. But what do these isolation measures mean for our psyche?

“Many of us thrive on physical contact and face to face interactions,” says clinical psychologist Liane Lurie. “Isolation in itself can breed panic as you begin to live in your head, and have no one to bounce your ideas off. It’s in these instances that we can be grateful for technology and the many platforms we have for connecting with one another.”

Yet while technology and social media is a blessing at this time, allowing us to connect and share coping strategies, it’s also potentially a curse. It can either offer community comfort or simply fuel panic. “We have to limit consciously the amount of time we spend playing Doctor Google and filter out which articles create awareness and empowerment as opposed to generating hysteria and fake news,” cautions Lurie.

This is new territory for everybody, says counselling psychologist Dr Robyn Rosin. “The best way to handle this is just to take one step at a time – as something arises, deal with it. It’s so easy to get caught up in the chaos and hype of everybody’s survival response, so step back a bit. The problem is that we’re dealing with an unknown. We all have the most catastrophic outcomes in our own heads.”

That may explain why many people are panic buying, according to educational psychologist Sheryl Cohen. “When one feels helpless, there’s a tendency to defend against this feeling by doing something more powerful,” she says. “This might, on an emotional level, explain why people are tending to buy and hoard. It’s trying to gain what psychologists call ‘psychic equilibrium’. By gaining control over one’s grocery cupboard, there’s a feeling of gaining some control over the helplessness that prevails. This is when the stocking up behaviour is over the top … and probably relates more to an emotional reaction than reasonable practical need.”

Many aren’t just hoarding, they’re also fearful of contact with others. “COVID-19 has unleashed its own form of panic,” says Lurie. “Mundane day-to-day tasks like grocery shopping or visiting your local pharmacy have become filled with hypervigilance and a “get in and get out as quickly as possible” mentality. We no longer stand directly behind a person in a queue and view strangers as potential germ-carrying enemies. It has sadly created a culture among many of ‘each man for himself’ as we worry about our own well-being.”

Yet while social distancing is something we have to accept, it doesn’t mean forgetting about what it means to be a loving and decent person. In fact, checking in with loved ones or helping others at this time will go a long way to helping us handle life in isolation. “Many have stepped up to help those not as fortunate, and equip them with the basic necessities that in the past we’ve taken for granted,” says Lurie. “Remembering our common humanity and vulnerability is an exceptional antidote towards far-flung panic.”

While it’s undoubtedly difficult, there can also be many benefits that come with stepping back from the busyness that characterises 21st century living. “Maybe if we just change our thinking, the panic will calm down,” says Rosin. “See it as an opportunity, and realise that it won’t last forever. Essentially it’s slowing our lives down to a pace that our bodies are actually designed to handle. We’ve structured our lives in a way that we have to cope with so much that our bodies are crashing down around us.”

This can, in fact, be a time of self-growth, especially if you live alone. “This will be a time when you have to move from the external to the internal world, and really explore that,” says Rosin. “It might be a good time for some silence and meditation, and to do some introspection, something most of us don’t have that much time for. Look to the future. What would you still like to achieve in your lifetime, what do you regret not doing? Keep a journal.” Being prepared and having things to do like playing games, listening to music, or reading are also advisable. We need to get out of our heads in such times. It’s all about finding a balance.”

Lurie agrees that it’s best not to dwell continuously on our inevitable worries. “It’s important to maintain a sense of humour, and to give yourself permission to experience moments of lightness and engagement, albeit brief,” she says. “In otherwise frenetic weeks, we often may not have the opportunity to be present at the dinner table or to have time to be present for precious moments with our children. This forced ‘down-time’, while underscored by anxiety and valid concerns about health, can also lend itself to quiet moments. Reading together, watching movies as a family, exercising in the comfort of your own environment, using learning apps to discover a new language, are all examples. It’s important to keep communication and conversation open with your family. Be honest with your children about what’s happening, and explain things to them in age-appropriate language.”

As much as we should try and see the positives, it’s also important to be honest with yourself about how you’re really feeling. “Isolation and panic can lend itself to feelings of despair, questions of ‘why me?’, helplessness, hopelessness, and even depression as the future seems uncertain and the course of the virus unclear,” says Lurie. “If you begin to feel that you’re truly not coping, reach out for help. Phone your general practitioner, helplines like the South African Depression and Anxiety Group or Lifeline, or speak to friends and family. When your isolation ends, you ultimately want to be in a space of mental and physical resilience. We all deserve as much support as possible during this difficult time.”