Looking for the lighter side

Most of us are feeling a little fragile and exhausted. Many are suffering from what would otherwise be diagnosed as low-grade depression, but I’m not sure you can give a blanket diagnosis to such large numbers of people.

I’m not a psychologist, but I can only go on what I see and hear, and I do believe we are all having an extraordinarily challenging time.

This has been a long and tough year – one like nothing we have ever experienced before. I recognise that it’s the second year of this pandemic, but somehow, it didn’t seem so bad when it was in the early days. We were still getting used to life under lockdown and behind masks. There was a novelty value, and it didn’t seem so endless.

My children never let me forget how convinced I was that lockdown or COVID-19 would be brief and forgettable. I told them that we would laugh when we reminisced about it from the beach in December. Well, so much for that. By the time we were together on the coast, we weren’t allowed on beaches because of COVID-19 and we were once again under lockdown.

Now, although many of us are vaccinated and ready and raring to move forward, the end isn’t quite in sight. And for so many, the long, difficult period we have lived through has soaked into our bones and makes us feels like, no matter what we do, there’s no end in sight.

People seem to get angry quickly and don’t want to witness, read, or watch anything that’s uncomfortable, depressing, or violent because we have too much in our lives already.

We are all looking for inspiration, something to make us smile, laugh, or just feel like there’s a lighter side to life, like there is some hope.

When SA Jewish Report chairperson Howard Sackstein had a webinar with the most positive business leaders – advertising executive Mike Abel, Discovery chief executive Adrian Gore, and Nando’s Robbie Brozin – the response was overwhelming. It attracted a massive audience of 23 224, and a significant number told Sackstein that that the webinar had inspired them. A few even said it had saved their lives. It lifted people’s spirits, and made them able to see a future, something better down the line. We all really, really need inspiration and hope.

This plays out in people’s reaction to stories in this newspaper.

Our community responds well to stories about South Africans in other countries and stories that we can relate to, but don’t really touch our lives. They also respond well to wacky, offbeat stories.

But when we wrote about the tragic death of a South African woman at the hands of people she had helped, people were devastated. Some literally didn’t want to read it.

It wasn’t about the gruesome details, but living in South Africa, the murder of someone in the community is devastating and instils fear in all of us.

Amazingly, we haven’t had such stories in the paper for a long time. This has been the first in more than two years. And as someone pointed out, it’s important to tell such stories because it means that it matters to us when someone is killed.

When it no longer matters, we have a real problem on our hands.

The point is, right now, the trauma and horror that touches our lives is too close for comfort. We can’t deal with it.

We need a break from trauma, violence, death, and sadness.

We really long for uplifting simchas and happiness to share with those we care about.

Just the thought of being able to spend time with my whole family for a Shabbos is like a dream, something I long for. To share a joke or have a good – even challenging – discussion across the table seems so precious.

The time for that is up ahead. We all know it intrinsically. Exactly when, we don’t know. Will it mean a booster vaccine? Again, we don’t know. Will it be next year? Who can tell? However, we can be certain the time will come.

Until then, we need to find ways of staying positive and hopeful. Firstly, it’s important to get off our own backs. If you aren’t feeling thrilled about life, that’s okay. If you are battling, get help.

I had a chat last week to Rabbi David Masinter, who this week held the uplifting Miracle Drive to raise funds. In him, I see someone who finds ways to remain positive because he spends his life trying to uplift others. He does it by introducing them to Pirkei Avot and tehillim, but also by putting up colourful sculptures of the words “Be Kind” and other simple but thought-provoking phrases in public spaces.

He also gives work to people in need to create beautiful Jewish art for others. (See page 9.)

Now, can I categorically say he is always happy? I wouldn’t be able to do that, but the ability to keep helping and uplifting people cannot be harmful.

So, Rabbi Masinter has inspired me to try my very best to do one small thing every day to make someone else’s life a little better.

I’m not talking about giving millions to charity because I simply can’t do that. I’m talking about little things that could be big things to certain people – and every day, I will decide what that will be.

I’m hoping that this will put smiles on other people’s faces, which in turn will put one on my own. I would love to spread joy and smiles because I believe we all need it. Who wouldn’t?

Anyone going to join me?

Shabbat Shalom!