Nik Rabinowitz comes a-live with Unmuted

Comedian Nik Rabinowitz has recently been in the news for evading terrorist threats, but he’s better known for being a phenomenal comedian and is currently performing Unmuted. The SA Jewish Report chats to him.

What was lockdown like for you, and how did you get through it?

It was a challenge, especially the initial part with no work or income for the foreseeable eternity. Ultimately, we got through it with breathwork, Urbanol, and Choni G.

What impact did it have on your life?

For a start, I discovered that we had three kids, not two! I mean, I’d noticed that there was a blonde boy, and a black-haired boy, but I thought they were the same boy who just loved hair dye. No! Two separate boys! So that was awesome. It also meant that when we played backyard cricket, we had a bowler, batsman, and a wickie. I was still man of every match though.

Not having to get on a plane for two years was also great, and then there was this weird juxtaposition of distance and intimacy with online audiences. Performing in my office, but then also being in people’s living rooms was weirdly delightful. I didn’t know how many middle aged white people had that coffee table Mandela book, but it turns out, they all do.

How do you think the Jewish community dealt with the COVID-19 pandemic?

We dealt with COVID-19 the same way we deal with everything: we stayed at home. There was a lot of toilet paper hoarding. I actually think we learned that our collective neurosis can be quite useful. If I remember correctly, Herzlia was the first school to close because of COVID-19. Then they closed Herzlia Constantia forever – just to be super safe.

What inspired Unmuted, and what did it take to put it together?

The show is a celebration of coming through the pandemic and finally arriving at the place where we’re able to joke about it. It took sweat and tears to put it together. Blood I reserve for Padel grudge matches with my wife’s cousin, Jonathan.

What research did you do during the pandemic, and what did you discover?

• I researched my ancestry, and discovered that I’m 5000% Ashkenazi (#inbred);
• I discovered there are multiple forms of paper folding arts, and I can’t do any of them;
• I discovered that it’s sometimes worse to perform an online show to no visible audience members other than your wife in the room than it is to perform to no visible audience members;
• I discovered that some of my friends shouldn’t be allowed unsupervised internet time. Mostly when they discovered that COVID-19 was created by Jewish Space Lizards;
• I discovered that if you’re really desperate, you can buy cough syrup with codeine in it, mix it with Energade, and you’ll get a pretty good buzz, but if you do it more than three times, Clicks does put your name on a list;
• I discovered that I’m not the kind of man who can open a pandemic sourdough bakery;
• I discovered that Ivermectin was in fact not the name of an old Jewish man from Sea Point. (That cleared up a lot of things for me);
• I discovered that if I take too many magic mushrooms, I start channelling an old Japanese man, which isn’t going to be printed because #cancelled, but can you be cancelled if you’re simply a vessel?

What was the toughest part about the pandemic?

Home-schooling a three-year-old via Zoom. Just to clarify, I was the one using Zoom to teach her. I’d make her go into a different room with the iPad and Zoom call her and try to teach her the alphabet using found objects. It didn’t work, and now she’s six and thinks the iPad is her father.

Is there anything you miss about lockdown and the life we lived then?

I miss illegal beach swims, not having to worry about traffic on the M3, and the respite from loadshedding. I miss seeing Professor Barry Schoub on the TV every night, and our kids hanging out with their cousins, and mountain walks with our golden retriever, Rafi Ress. I miss seeing my wife puzzling at the dinner table while simultaneously consuming a Cyril family meeting, a Tiger King episode, a Brené Brown podcast, and a bag of Ghost Pops. I also miss washing my hands. I don’t do that anymore.

When you called your show Unmuted, what were you referring to?

As most of lockdown was spent on Zoom, there was always someone in a meeting who would speak while accidentally leaving their microphone on mute. Having come out of lockdown – baruch Hashem – I feel like I can get back to doing what I do best, in person and with an unmuted microphone in hand.

What was it like to be back in front of a live audience after the worst of the pandemic?

The build-up was nerve-wracking, but once I got back on the horse, it was enormously enjoyable, especially the part of not being interrupted by my family members.

What’s Nik Rabinowitz like when he’s not making others laugh?

Off-stage, Nik Rabinowitz is a devoted husband and father. Additionally he’s a gold-medal-winning, unshaven, former Maccabi cricketer. He has also been described (by himself) as a glass-half-full, climb-up-the-mountain-in-the-morning, garden-variety-suburban-Woolworths-hippie Jew.

What has the pandemic taught you about life and how best to manage it?

You can be as prepared as you like, but there are some things you can’t plan for – like a global pandemic. And home-schooling a three-year-old. Also, it has given me a totally new perspective on wet markets.

What have you done with the remainder of your masks and sanitiser?

I’ve stored them in a jar (labelled #NeverForget) along with my homebrewing kit, my sourdough starter, and my Zoom login details. Basically I’m keeping them for the next pandemic. If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail.

Do you still feel the need to keep a social distance, and what’s your instinct when people come too close?

In spite of no longer socially distancing, I’m still partial to a fist bump or elbow-greeting. When people come too close, I kiss them. On the lips. Either I end up with a new friend, or an alarmed enemy. Both of which I consider wins.

What are your thoughts on vaccination, conspiracy theories/theorists, and coronavirus?

I understand the need to understand the world, especially when it gets really confusing. But maybe YouTube videos by a chiropractor with an online degree and an alarming number of tinted sunglasses aren’t the best way to educate yourself about the complex field of epidemiology.

Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the vaccine conspiracy theorists are a conspiracy by anti-conspiracy theorists to make us dislike conspiracy theorists.

Did you lose anyone you cared deeply about during COVID-19? What happened, and how did you deal with it?

Thankfully, I didn’t lose anyone to COVID-19. I did, however, almost lose a close friend to YouTube videos. We dealt with it by limiting our conversations to birthday WhatsApps, but strictly in emojis.

• Unmuted runs at the Baxter Theatre in Cape Town from 17 to 19 November. Bookings at webtickets.co.za