Rebbetzins answering a different calling

GILLIAN KLAWANSKY

Yet among South Africa’s already inspirational rebbetzins are women who are doing all of this and maintaining demanding careers.

Rebbetzin and fashion entrepreneur Sarah Feldman, who together with her husband Rabbi Osher Feldman, serves the community of Cape Town’s Gardens Shul, is no stranger to juggling responsibilities.

In addition to her many shul responsibilities, she’s a mother of four. “Finding the time to start up and run a fashion brand was never going to be easy,” she says. But it was a calling she couldn’t ignore. “Being frum does not mean being frumpy and after running a lifestyle blog called Rabbi’sWife.com and being consulted by women across the world, I realised the demand for stylish modest fashion,” says Feldman.

With this in mind, she started her own line, the “Sarah Feldman Cape Town” fashion brand (www.sarahfeldman.co.za). Her brand has steadily grown, with Feldman currently launching two “pop-ups” in Australia. “I see my business as an extension of my work as a rebbetzin,” she says.

“I believe in a Judaism where one should feel and look good and that includes health, fitness and the way we dress.” It’s this philosophy that helps Feldman manage her many roles. “I exercise daily and eat a mainly plant-based diet, which keeps my mind and body healthy and active.

“This together with finding some form of regular ‘me time’ plays a major role in helping me to stay focused and manage the workload.”

Staying healthy is also an effective strategy for rebbetzin, practising physiotherapist and second black belt karate Dan, Aviva Thurgood. She’s married to Rabbi Sam Thurgood who leads Beit Midrash Morasha @ Arthur’s Road in Sea Point.

“I’ve found running on the promenade, hiking and general exercise is an essential part of my sanity,” she says. “I don’t view exercise as a luxury, it’s a priority.”

This has helped her manage her practice, motherhood and her work with the shul. “It’s always been important to me to have my own identity and a place where I can express myself in an area other than the community,” she says.

“I’ve found working as a physio to be fulfilling, meaningful and stimulating. I love community work, but having an outlet and personal space, gives me a chance to take a break and define myself in other ways as well.”

Having worked fulltime for the last three years, she’s recently cut back her physio hours, yet still teaches eight Pilates classes, treats about 28 patients a week and also takes her daughter to extramurals and on outings.

On coping she says: “I couldn’t do anything without my incredible support system which includes my husband, in-laws and nanny. Some weeks are crazier than others, but I find that focusing and being fully present for each part of the day, really helps.

“When I’m at work, I’m at work and when I’m home, I’m with my family or community. Having clear boundaries is essential for me. It’s not about doing what society or everyone else says, it’s about what works for you.”

Widely known for her weekly ChaiFM radio show which she sees as a “very big shiur”, highly regarded public speaker, writer and educator rebbetzin Mashi Lipskar says that while her work extends beyond the shul, all she does is aligned to community.

Alongside her husband Rabbi Mendel Lipskar, executive director of Chabad of South Africa, rabbi of the Shul @ Hyde Park and co-founder of Torah Academy School, the rebbetzin has long been involved in education and still teaches at the school.

Asked how she finds a balance, she says: “We’re human beings and sometimes we’re our own worst enemies, that’s the human journey. But you have to prioritise according to what you’re passionate about. And thank G-d if you have a spouse who’s a friend and a partner, you can give objectivity to one another.

“You also have to be connected to your Source by studying the wisdom of Torah. In doing so, you’re in a great space for being honest about how you define yourself and divide your time. For me teaching children is just a joy and a privilege. You have to be happy; when people are happy, they can do so much more than if they’re not.”

In terms of juggling work and motherhood, Lipskar who now has nine adult children and close to 50 grandchildren, says she sometimes wishes she’d spent more time at home with her kids.

“I think the primary role is to be a mother, because no-one else can do that. Yet, I think that when your kids know that they are your love and your priority, then the time that you do give them counts for a lot. In order to be the best mom, you also have to take care of yourself. What teaching gives me in personal growth is phenomenal – it keeps me growing and fresh.”

Also in the educational space, Rebbetzin Natalie Altman who’s currently expecting her sixth child, is the principal of the Phyllis Jowell Jewish Day School in Cape Town. She also manages the school’s Jewish and secular studies curriculum.

A renowned educator, speaker and spiritual leader, she sees working in education as her calling. Overseeing all 140 learners in the preschool and primary school, she works from 07:30 to 16:30 each day.

“The biggest gift I have in terms of managing my time, is a very involved husband [Rabbi Jonathan Altman] who’s a very active father. We share everything, finance, household and children.

“An exceptionally supportive staff and board, as well as a support system of friends, are also critical ingredients. My parents are also very supportive, although they live in Johannesburg.

“Having a functional public transport system that takes my high school-aged children to and from school, is also highly valuable. I also exercise three times a week, which helps me take time for myself. My generally calm temperament also helps. I think in life, when you’re given it, you get through it and then you look back and you’re not sure ho