Self-control in a world of instant gratification

Rabbi Yoni Lipschitz

Mizrachi Shul

During this time, both the First and Second Temples were destroyed, among other great catastrophes occuring in Jewish history.

This is a time period where we as the Jewish people and as individuals need to look at ourselves and our actions in order to improve ourselves as human beings.

In today’s world of instant gratification we are seeing a decrease in self-control among people. Obesity in the world is at extraordinary proportions because we lack the self-control and -discipline to make better choices about what we put into our mouths and what speech comes out of our mouths.

In this week’s parsha Aaron’s grandson Pinchas is rewarded for his act of zealotry in killing Zimri and the Midianite princess who was his paramour. G-d grants him a covenant of peace and the priesthood. Why is Aharon, Pinchas’ paternal grandfather mentioned as Pinchas’ grandfather in the Torah and not his maternal grandfather?

Rashi comments that this is because people were mocking Pinchas that he was the descendant of an idol worshipper and that is why he acted in the manner in which he did. Rabbi Avraham Sofer, the Kesav Sofer, writes on Parshat Pinchas that it seemed to people that the zealotry of Pinchas was based on traits that he inherited from his maternal grandfather rather than his paternal grandfather who was a “lover of peace, a pursuer of peace, one who loves the creatures and draws them close to Torah” (Ethics of the Fathers chapter 1:12).

Therefore, the Torah specifically states that Pinchas took after his paternal grandfather Aharon to show that he was by nature, a calm, merciful and peaceful person. The Torah, in praising him, is praising him for defying his natural tendencies, going out of his comfort zone, in order to bring honour to G-d.

The Vilna Gaon based on the verse in Mishlei 4:13: “Take fast hold of discipline, do not let it loose; guard it, for it is your life,” remarks that in life everyone has challenges and life is about struggling with those challenges and working out how to overcome them. 

Self-control is the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires, especially in difficult situations. The Torah is teaching us that we must be prepared to step outside our comfort zone and extend ourselves and exercise self-control and discipline in our daily lives. This apply equally to what we put in our mouths to what comes out of our mouths.

According to the Talmud in Masechet, Gittin (55a-56b), lashon harah was the cause of the destruction of the second Beit Hamikdash.

During this time period we should act like Pinchas by stepping outside of our comfort zones and exercise control and discipline over what we speak about and how we speak to others. May we merit to see the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash, speedily in our days.