Soldier’s death breaks SA granny’s heart

When a heart-shaped stone that Staff Sergeant Nitai Metodi had given to his South African-born grandmother, Riva Hellman, fell and chipped last Friday morning, she knew something was wrong. Later that day, she was told her beloved 23-year-old grandson was killed fighting Hamas in Gaza.

Hellman, a South African olah, was there for every step of Nitai’s childhood. Having made aliya from Durban soon after her daughter, Lara Metodi, about 30 years ago, the family lived and thrived in Ashkelon.

“After school, Nitai and I would often walk on the beach. When he was five years old, he found a heart-shaped stone on the sand,” says Hellman in her Durbanite accent. “He said to me, ‘Googi [his name for his grandmother], this stone is my heart to your heart.’ We wrote, ‘Nitai to Googi, 31 July 2006’ on the stone and I’ve kept it with me ever since. On Friday, 23 August, the stone fell out of my pocket, and a piece broke off.”

When the stone chipped, “it was like he was saying to me, ‘I know I broke your heart, but please believe I’m okay’”, she says.

When sharing this story at Nitai’s funeral at the military cemetery Ashkelon on 25 August, there wasn’t a dry eye among the 3 500 people who attended.

At his graveside, Nitai’s mother, Lara, recounted how on 7 October, Nitai rushed back to Israel from holiday in Australia to enlist in the reserves. Since that day, he returned to military service three times, prioritising his country above all else.

“You came back voluntarily to join your friends on this noble mission,” said his mother in her eulogy. “And although we begged you not to keep going to miluim [reserves], you kept saying, ‘I cannot leave my team.’ Today, I say, you never left your team – you gave your life for them.”

In the last words he wrote in his notebook, Nitai said, “I’m staring at the ceiling, thinking about what a crazy time this is. Nonstop thoughts running through my mind, just waiting for the silence to come,” perhaps a premonition of the sacrifice he would ultimately make.

Hellman says that she last saw Nitai on 21 August, when he was allowed to come out of Gaza to celebrate her husband Selwyn’s birthday. He returned to Gaza the next day. On Friday mornings, she usually sends a Shabbat message to her grandson without fail. “For some reason, on Friday, I forgot. I remembered at 11:00, and quickly sent it. But he never received it. He was killed at 08:00 that morning.”

Now, she’s enduring the unimaginable devastation of losing a grandchild. “You never think it can happen to you. He was a very special young man, who touched so many people. He had no option but to go [to serve], but he was always texting me, saying, ‘Googi, don’t worry, I will let you know if anything happens.’ Our bond was so strong.”

After serving twice in miluim in Gaza, Nitai was in France visiting his girlfriend, with whom he was “very much in love”, says close family friend Sharon Friedman. But when he was called up a third time, he left France, put on his uniform, and headed back into battle. He was killed in an explosion in Gaza City.

Two other soldiers died, and seven were injured. Along with the other soldiers killed that day, Nitai brings the number of fallen soldiers in the current war to 700. He is at least the seventh young man with South African roots to die in battle on or since 7 October.

Lara is known for starring on the Big Brother reality show in Israel and owns a Pilates studio. She and her Israeli husband, Lior, raised three children – Nitai was the eldest, followed by a daughter, Shai, and younger brother, Niv.

“I was there when Nitai was born,” says Friedman, who is Lara’s best friend and made aliya from South Africa about the same time as her. “He was a true ray of sunshine who loved his family to bits and was wonderful at everything he did. All he wanted was to live a simple, happy life. I can’t believe I’ll never see his face again.”

Lara and Lior divorced about seven years ago, and “Nitai was Lara’s rock, he kept the family laughing and together through everything,” says Friedman. The family stood united at Nitai’s funeral, comforting each other as they paid tribute to their son and brother. Niv, also doing his army service, came in his uniform, standing resolute alongside his father as they recited kaddish.

Lara sobbed as Nitai’s fellow soldiers stood to attention around his grave and family and friends gathered to sing songs of comfort. But her heartbreak was contrasted with her inner strength as she delivered his eulogy.

Speaking with a strong South African accent, Lara said, “Nitai, the day you were born, daddy found a tree at the hospital and carved your name on it, so no-one will ever forget. Today, I’m here to speak, so once again, no-one will forget the son you are. You are our light, a hero, and an inspiration to anyone who knows you. You were the best brother to Shai and Niv, the best nephew to your aunts and uncles, and the best grandson to your grandparents.

“The void left in our hearts will never be filled, but I hope as time goes by, we will see a point to all of this. I have just one request from my country: ensure that Nitai’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain,” she continued, her voice breaking in pain. “This fight mustn’t stop. We must continue until peace is achieved, so the next generation won’t have to sacrifice their lives as well,” she said, as family and friends sobbed around her.

“Nitai sheli [my Nitai], you’re an angel in heaven, as you were an angel on earth,” she said. “I love you to the moon and back. Am Yisrael Chai.”

Nitai was buried near Staff Sergeant Shahaf Nissani (20), a female observation soldier who was killed when Hamas terrorists overran the Nahal Oz base on 7 October. Nitai’s grave being so close to hers made clear how Israel’s best and brightest continue to put their country first.

Ashkelon Mayor Tomer Glam called Nitai “a son of our city”, saying “our hearts break with the devastating news. My deepest condolences to his parents and his dear family. The Ashkelon municipality will support them in any way necessary during this painful and difficult time. May you know no more sorrow, and may you find comfort from heaven. May your memory be blessed, hero.”

Nitai’s sister, Shai, said she “refuses to believe it [Nitai’s death]” and that her big brother was “the light of the house: the most beautiful laughter, the most beautiful smile, the most beautiful hair, and the sharpest sense of humour. Thank you for 21 years that I had the privilege to be your little sister.

“Today, I stand with my head held high, proud to say this is my brother,” she said. “The brother who fought for his family, for his country, who fought to bring back people he didn’t even know. But that’s Nitai, always putting everyone before himself. I remember our last conversation, you told me you were ready to be a father. I was happy. I know that if you were here, you would shout to everyone to ‘Smile, because I’m glad I had the privilege to fall for my country.’”