Take that rage down a notch

HOWARD FELDMAN

Whereas this is by no means the subject of the column, I do want to point out that not all dog owners look like their pets (especially the Whippet owners) and that cat people are stark raving mad. As a rule.

My son of 17 has his learners license, and drove us home. He happens to be an excellent driver, but as we got to the traffic circle in Waverley, just off Louis Botha, he mistakenly entered the roundabout ahead of another car that had right of way. He was wrong. He made a mistake that young (and even more experienced) drivers make. But not so wrong that he deserved the reaction from another car that did have right of way.

A man was in the passenger seat, and he took offence (deep and aggressive offence) to what my son had done. He adopted an ugly contorted face, lifted himself out of his chair and almost out of the car, and with his fingers, he conveyed his displeasure. We had some young children in the car who thankfully were more concerned about the treats we were going to stop to purchase than the brush with road rage. The reaction was particularly extreme.

I was hoping that they were headed in the same direction, as I wanted to get out my car to explain to them that this is a young learner driver, and it wouldn’t do any harm for the bloke to chill. The incident wasn’t a close call, and a little perspective wouldn’t have harmed anyone. But they drove another way, and I was left contemplating why he behaved as he did.

A similar incident occurred last week at the Kruger. We happened to arrive at the gate around 05:30, and we were the second car in line for the opening at 06:00. When we got to the front, the kindly attendant was helping a tour operator who was ahead of us, so entrance into the park was delayed by a few minutes. It was also our first time at the Kruger, so we might have delayed her further by taking a minute to collect identity documents from all the adults.

While this was happening, a man in the car behind us exited his vehicle, and started screaming about the delay. He mock charged us, and was completely enraged. Although his face was distorted, I recognised him as being a member of the Jewish community. I felt embarrassed for him, and apologised to the woman who was helping us. She smiled, and said, “Please don’t worry – this happens every day.” It was 06:10 when we entered the park, and when the car behind us took its place at the payment booth.

Local and international news is full of stories of people becoming outraged. Monday’s New York Post features an article about crockery that was recalled from Macy’s stores. The reason for the recall is that it playfully suggested portion sizes (on the actual plate) depending on which jeans the eater wanted to fit into. It seems that many potential customers were “triggered”, and so the plates needed to be removed from the stores. Macy’s was forced to apologise.

We appear to be living in a dual reality. On the one hand, we are aggressive and rude and care little for others, but at times, we are so sensitive, we can’t imagine the horror that is associated with a plate that has the word “skinny jeans” on it. We appear to have lost all perspective, and we genuinely and seriously need to get it back. That is, before people die from stress-related cardiac events.

South Africans are particularly highly strung at the moment. But we need to keep it together. We need to find ways to take it down a notch or two. Even if it means buying a cat.