The makings of a great Jewish home

Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein

Rosh Hashanah message from Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein

We live in a world of flux, here in South Africa, in Israel and around the world. Our response should be to strengthen and nurture our families and to create vibrant Jewish homes. But how do we make a great Jewish home?

Obviously, a Jewish home is full of Torah values and actions, like kosher, Shabbos and tzedakah. But here are two specific ideas to focus on. “Let your home be wide open”, says Pirkei Avot (1:5). Rav Ovadia of Bartenura (Italy, 1445-1515) understands this literally.

The Mishna is advising us to open our homes to visitors who need a place to go. He cites the example of Avraham, whose tent was open on all sides to welcome wayfarers who arrived from all directions.

There is the famous episode which recounts how Abraham – recovering under the hot desert sun from extremely painful late life brit mila – sits restlessly at the opening of his tent waiting for guests.

G-d sends him three angels, masquerading as weary travellers, whom with the help of his wife, Sarah, he proceeded to lavish with choice delicacies.

This is the classic example of Avraham’s kindness, and in particular his zeal for hospitality. It encourages us to emulate him and ensure that our homes are spaces where everyone feels welcome.

Rabbeinu Yonah (Spain, 1200-1263) offers a slightly different angle on the Mishna, and explains that it is encouraging us to nurture homes where people can find relief.

What does this mean? Rabbi Israel Lifshcitz (Germany, 1782-1860), another commentator on Pirkei Avot, expands the definition of relief. He explains that people confront many challenges – rich and poor alike. Some seek physical help, others financial assistance. Still others are in need of emotional support or words of advice or comfort.

Whatever manner of relief people are looking for, our Mishna implores us, they should be able to find it in our homes. The ideal Jewish home is a haven of kindness and comfort, a place so welcoming that when people walk inside they feel in some way that the weight of their troubles are lessened .

Here is a second idea for creating a great Jewish home: “Let your home be a meeting place for the sages”, Pirkei Avot (1:4) also teaches. Rashi’s (France, 1040-1105) understanding is that the Mishna is talking about making the home a place for learning and teaching Torah. We don’t have to limit our Torah learning to shuls or schools, or any other “official” institution.

Of course those institutions are geared towards learning and they are important places to express our Jewish identity. But we cannot forget about the home. Torah learning begins at home. Torah learning is essential to creating a genuine atmosphere in a home.

When we share Torah ideas – whether around the Shabbos table or during the week – it’s a platform for our families to engage with each other on an emotional, intellectual and spiritual level that nothing else provides.

It’s an opportunity to come closer to one another and to connect with each other across the generation divide around our Torah legacy.

Of course, it’s also an opportunity to bring friends and great Torah teachers and thinkers into our homes. The most important thing is that our homes be “a meeting place” because that’s what real Torah learning is about.

It’s not only about sitting with a book and learning alone. It’s about discussion and debate. It is a real conversation that takes place between real people. By establishing our homes as Torah meeting places we invite light and energy and warmth into them as we share the magnificent ideas of G-d’s Torah with each other and bring meaning into our lives. And through these conversations we will build truly great Jewish homes.

May Hashem bless us all with a good and sweet year!