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The mom-nishtanah of the school seder
Never mind the four sons, let’s discuss the four moms at the school Pesach seder.
- The over eager, I’ve got it all together mom
She diarised the date and time of this seder at the beginning of the school year, and wrote it on that nifty calendar she has on the fridge to keep her kids up to date and well prepared for anything and everything the school term has to offer. She has a front-row seat at the perfect angle to capture the exact shot of her little one dipping their egg in saltwater and beaming with a squeaky-clean face and immaculately combed hair.
She claps in time to each tune, videos all the right moments, and is basically beaming with pride and joy throughout the more than an hour-long production. She’s so immensely grateful, and aware that time passes so quickly, that her heart is almost bursting from all the feeling.
- The underachieving, I’ll sit in the back of the class mom
She’s the one rushing in a little dishevelled and using her spit to wipe off the remnants of brekkie from her offspring’s face. She wasn’t sure if the seder was today or if parents were actually invited but the 78 messages on the class WhatsApp group this morning kinda gave it away. Of course, she loves watching that sweet face light up when they spot her in the audience and of course, her heart melts when they sing Ma Nishtanah. She just doesn’t think that singing all six verses of Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika are necessary when she has a 09:00 meeting to rush off to.
- The no nonsense, let’s keep things simple mom
She knows what needs to be done, and she knows the quickest, most efficient way to do it. She doesn’t quite know why this is taking so long or why the kids couldn’t just go home straight afterwards to save another lift. Although she’s impressed by the beautifully set tables and creative choice of songs, she wonders if the décor will be recycled or repurposed tomorrow, and questions the necessity of all these personalised little bottled waters.
- The mom who doesn’t know how to ask
This shy, uncomplicated mom delights in the beauty and grace that this morning brings. She’s thrilled to be there, and feels blessed to experience this occasion and enjoy being entertained so beautifully by teachers and kids alike. She marvels at the hours that have been spent teaching these songs and learning these actions. She listens to each word of the principal’s speech and feels inspired to have her kids attend a school which carries such an important ethos and message. She smiles throughout the production, appreciates all that’s before her, and demands nothing in return. She could sit there forever and never get bored. She simply relishes in being present, and hasn’t reached into her bag for her phone even once.
Unfortunately, this mom wasn’t at the school seder this week. Alas, she probably doesn’t exist. But, just like the four sons, we all have little bits of each of these moms within us. My prayer for this year is that I manage to magnify and grow all my mom strengths and that next year, I’ll sing Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika with far more gusto!
Chag sameach to my beautiful tribe! May we merit the ultimate redemption, may Hashem uplift our nation and our land in the most miraculous and beautiful way.
- Casey Shevel, otherwise known as #momofboys, is a mom, author, speaker, matchmaker, dating coach, and lover of all things heart-shaped.
