RABBI GREG ALEXANDER

The vows of women

 Cape Town Progressive Jewish Congregation

In the case of a woman, we read that if her father or husband hears the vow on the day that she makes it, the vow can be nullified – “he shall make void her vow which is upon her” (Num 30:9). That clearly is not the kind of Judaism we might want to find in the Torah. 

Why should a woman’s vow not stand? Why aren’t women given the same legal status as men? If we are angry or disappointed with a text written more than 3 000 years ago, then we are ignoring the context in which it was written. 

Patriarchy at the time was the norm and the writers of this text would have not given a pause to consider this sexist or prejudicial to women.

What should be far more concerning for us is if the reader in 2014 saw this as the reality today. How much has changed for women? 

Despite one of the most progressive constitutions in the world, South Africa remains a country where patriarchy thrives. Why are the levels of violence against women so frighteningly high? Why, statistically are women twice as likely as men to suffer from depression? 

Why are women still less likely to find employment than men, and if they do are unlikely to be offered the same salary? Why is the voice of a woman still not regarded as significant as a man’s?

Why am I, a male (employed) rabbi, so concerned about this and think that you should be too? Because this is not a “women’s issue”, it is all of ours. Gender equity affects all of us and the answer is reliant on all of us too. 

The solution might lie back in the offending verses. The Torah stipulates that the husband or father needs to nullify the oath on the day that it is vowed. If he is silent, the vow stands. 

The principal is shtika k’hoda’ah – silence is like assent  Uncomfortable as I am with the power that is granted to men, it is that power that very well might make the change. 

Revolutions can come from the oppressed taking power back and from those in power creating revolution themselves. Shtika, silence, is not acceptable.

Each of us, male and female, can look at our families, our congregations, our businesses, social circles and ask how open are they to women and how conscious are we of the needs of girls, mothers, women around us to share the authority and responsibility that comes with being partners with G-d in this world. And speak out today.