Torah Academy pupil conquers his fears

If you thought navigating matric during a pandemic was a challenge, imagine doing it while battling an anxiety disorder. This was the reality for Torah Academy matriculant Avi Cobb, but for him, defeat was never an option.

“Anxiety has affected nearly every aspect of my life, but I felt it most profoundly in my school career,” he says. “During my matric year, I needed certainty, but external and internal forces made me vulnerable. My disorder has often made me feel powerless, and I’ve questioned just about everything.”

COVID-19 didn’t make it any easier.

“Going into matric, I had so many expectations of myself and my work ethic,” he says. “COVID-19 shook any sense of confidence I had. I was in the unknown, flooded by matric and the virus.

“The matric year, which usually has such a rigid schedule, was in a constant state of flux. Most of the time, it was hazy and difficult to hold onto something factual as with every news update, there was usually further calamity.”

In spite of his fears, Cobb rose to the challenge, and set out to leave his mark on his final year.

“At the beginning of 2020, my maths teacher told me that I must make matric the best year of my life,” he says. “Although it wasn’t the best year, I still made it the best it could possibly be. When I couldn’t find answers, I had to make my own.”

Cobb realised that he didn’t have to tackle his challenges by himself. “I sought out a psychologist and psychiatrist, and began working on myself. Even during finals, I tried to continue my weekly appointments as much as I could.

“Although many people disliked online learning, I tried to keep in mind the opportunities I had. I could stay at home and continue my studies online while so many were left helpless and confused. I knew how much work I needed to do after school in order to do well.

“I don’t think there ever was a ‘right’ way to do it, which comforts me, because I know that I genuinely tried.”

Equally central to his success was recognising and accepting his limitations, he says. “One of my greatest matric successes was dropping my extra subject. It sounded like I was giving up, but in actuality, I was prioritising myself and personal achievement rather than purely academic results.

“Growth of any kind is success,” Cobb says. “I believe that a genuine desire to see success will result in some form of physical achievement. When we realise our own limitations and potential, we can refine it into results, and we will continue to do that only when we realise that at a certain point, things are out of our hands and actually in those of G-d.”

Cobb points out that you aren’t powerless, although the pandemic can make you feel that way. “Living in a global pandemic caused so many setbacks, but it also created as many opportunities,” he says.