Letters/Discussion Forums

Victims must find strength to challenge abusers

In response to the letter on women abuse in the 15 February 2019 SA Jewish Report, I wish to point out that people can be bullies. People can be abusive, but the victim must find the strength to set boundaries and draw the line. He/she must change his/her own behaviour, because we can’t change other people; we can only change ourselves. Then, maybe, the response to us will be different. Then, there is hope that the abusive behaviour will not continue. The community must foster support for this.

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Michele Engelberg, Johannesburg

Speaking to the abused, look inside yourself. You know this is not resonating with the person you were meant to be. We are all created in G-d’s image; we are his children. He loves each of us. We are not meant to be abused and put down. The abusive situation is restricting you. It’s damaging you. It’s chipping away at your essence.

Take a step towards change. Challenge your abuser – if not for yourself, then for your children, present or future – so that they can see that there is a standard according to which people, especially married people, are meant to treat each other. Otherwise, they are likely to fall victim to similar hurtful, unfulfilling relationships. Abusive relationships. You wouldn’t want that for them.

Seek out the help of organisations that are tasked with helping abused women. Take self-defence classes to empower yourself.

Take the step. Seek help. Empower yourself.

Because, as the letter writer concluded, “Enough is Enough!” 

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