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With perseverance of Go-Getters, CT woman gets her get
A Cape Town woman who was granted a get recently, said she felt “relief but not quite belief” until the document was in her hands.
The woman – E C – who does not want to be identified, was married for 13 years and her civil divorce was granted over a year ago. She said she has three children and it affected them badly.
BRIAN JOSSELOWITZ
“I did not make the get part of the settlement as the divorce was too difficult and had taken about three years with huge expense – so I just wanted it over and I knew the get would prolong it as I had asked for it in 2012 a few times and been refused,” said E C. She had however asked the Beth Din in Cape Town to speak with her former husband – which they did but without success.
“My ex-husband just did not want to grant the get, although this year he did ask the Rosh Beth Din to offer me one, but with certain conditions, so I rejected it. I was not interested in fighting further as there had been so much stress already that I decided enough was enough,” she said.
“Then one of the women behind the Go-Getters campaign called and asked if I wanted help and I told her that I did not think so as I was not interested in another Jewish marriage and would not sign another get, given how the law is written.
“However, I met with her and she explained to me the work Go-Getters had been doing and about the support they were giving to another agunah (“chained woman”). I was still reluctant to proceed, but she encouraged me to make another call to the Beth Din and to set up another meeting.
“It was all different now as I was no longer alone. The Go-Getters were in my corner and they gave me good advice. I met with the Beth Din but they wanted to include other family matters and my children in the process, which did not suit me.
“The Go-Getters encouraged me to write another letter to the Beth Din outlining my concerns and then the rabbi understood that the get needed to be granted separately from the other issues,” E C said.
The breakthrough came for her when another get-refuser, Anthony Sherman, was named, shamed and excommunicated. E C said she knew her get would “come shortly”.
“My ex-husband agreed to give me a get although he still wanted to attach terms which were not in my children’s interests, but he relented and gave me the get. Without the support of Go-Getters I would definitely not have a get today. I would not have fought for it and would not have been assertive enough to demand it in the end.
“I was amazed to meet this unbelievable group of women who selflessly were prepared to stand up and fight for what is right with nothing in it for them.”