Women’s dialogue gives voice to silent stories

Reflecting how words are either muted, used to empower, or destroy, a panel of women from diverse backgrounds participated in a women’s dialogue hosted at the Johannesburg Holocaust & Genocide Centre (JHGC) last week.

Held in collaboration with the Nelson Mandela Museum, the Women’s Month event titled “Silent Voices” revealed the importance of communicating effectively.

It allowed participants to speak openly about their experiences, ideas and learnings, and looked at the trials, traumas, and triumphs of women throughout history.

Words matter, whether it’s about women’s experience of leadership, in the Holocaust or Rwandan genocide, or in confronting the challenges we face as a country in dealing with poverty, inequality, and how that relates to girls and women. Discussing this idea, Tracey Henry who serves on the board of trustees of the JHGC and is chief executive of Tshikululu Social Investments, stressed the importance of interrogating the words we use and hear.

“Words can have long-term consequences in terms of how we view our world and ourselves,” she said. “While the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ has relevance when we want to move beyond words and focus on outcomes, we need to spend more time reflecting, listening, and being cognisant of what’s being said, the words we use, and the consequences thereof.”

When it comes to women’s liberation, she said, we need to provide spaces for meaningful, constructive, and healing dialogue to support women to talk through issues of inequality, discrimination, prejudice, racism, abuse, and violence. “We need to ensure that vulnerable voices aren’t silenced, and that we recognise these experiences to heal individually and as a nation.”

Baleka Mbete, the chairperson of the board of the National Liberation Heritage Institute of South Africa and former speaker of parliament, highlighted the leading female role players in history including the likes of political activist Charlotte Maxeke, who fought for freedom from exploitation and improved social conditions for African women.

“Women have never been silent,” she said. “History is loud about the role that women have played over the decades.” We need to learn from their example and celebrate their courage.

Mbete also highlighted the inherent anti-war and anti-violent stance of women because they give birth to children, therefore focusing on bringing life into the world. “There’s no solution in a war because a solution that takes life isn’t a solution. Women contribute life in order to build life and take us forward constructively.”

Dr Nomvuselelo Songelwa, a council member of the Nelson Mandela Museum and a professional coach, author, and strategic and operations leader, spoke of the challenges and experiences of women in leadership. “Sometimes we glamorize female leaders but we don’t engage with them in a reflective way,” she said.

Women in positions of power in fact navigate many challenges including environments in which they feel unsafe or where they are voluntarily or involuntarily silenced, especially in the boardroom, Songelwa said. “Because they want to fit into this square that has been created before they came in, many women leaders end up facing imposter syndrome [feelings of inauthenticity] because of their desire to fit in.” Yielding to unrealistic expectations of women in power can therefore lead to self-doubt and unintentional self-sabotage.

“Leadership is a painful and spiritual journey, something they don’t talk about in business books,” she said. “We need psychological capital when we get into these organisations. Men and women need each other to create healthier and more transformative organisations. Women need to talk more about these issues if we want to change the world.”

Giving voice to stories of resilience of women in the Holocaust and Rwandan genocide, Tali Nates, the founder and executive director of the JHGC, whose father was a Holocaust survivor saved by Oskar Schindler, said the JHGC was born of the need to look at the past and connect it to ourselves today. “By doing so, we learn lessons about resilience and how to be inspired by stories that we hear.”

Nates shared significant stories of survival from the Holocaust and the Rwandan genocide. Among these is that of Johannesburg-based Holocaust survivor Wanda Helena Albińska, born Rotstein, whose mother, Halina Rotstein, was a young doctor when the Holocaust began.

Halina continued working as a doctor in the Warsaw Ghetto and smuggled out her four children to an orphanage to save their lives. She later died with her patients. Nates spoke of “the resilience of Wanda, who started to speak of this experience only 10 years ago because she said, ‘No-one knows of my mother’s bravery.’”

The cathartic power of sharing one’s story was exemplified by JHGC volunteer and mother of two, Christine Niwemfura, who initially didn’t have the words to describe what happened to her. The only member of her family to survive the Rwandan genocide, which began when she was eight years old, Niwemfura gave a harrowing first-hand account of witnessing her family’s brutal murders at the hands of machete-wielding militia. Niwemfura herself was left for dead.

In the lead-up to the genocide, being a member of the Tutsi minority ethnic group, many of whom were ultimately murdered by the Hutu militia, was traumatising, she said. “I felt I wasn’t a human being.” After her family was killed, Niwemfura went into hiding, at one point in the bush, where she was found and attacked. She was ultimately taken to an orphanage, completed her schooling, moved to South Africa, and started a family.

“Telling my personal story to others helped me heal,” she said. “It’s also a way of honouring those who lost their lives in the genocide. We don’t want to forget them.”

Clinical psychologist and psychometrist Karyn Kadish, a volunteer at the JHGC, said that studying dark histories like the Holocaust and Rwandan genocide had deep psychological value. Learning of such atrocities, hearing personal stories, and connecting to the humanity of survivors and victims, while emotional, helps students to develop resilience and empathy, which encourages critical thinking.

“It’s believed that by learning about these events, we can help prevent future atrocities by raising awareness of hatred and intolerance,” said Kadish. “It’s a call to action to stand up to hatred and discrimination and foster tolerance in which every individual is respected and valued.”